if i think about what was working, saturday she stayed at home and never went out with the crew, she wanted to spend time together. On sunday i put my mother first and leave her and don't wish her on mothers day, then she makes plans to get back at me on her bday.
I think i know what to do...
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
More and more it seems to me, that she is just "pretending" to work on the marriage, so she has an excuse if you blow your lid. She needs an audience to show that you ended the marriage even though she is the one who is wayward. She needs to feel that she is the victim (and believe you me, that in her twisted logic she actually believes she is the victim here...).
She would benefit from a good thrashing, I can't believe it's a felony...
All joking aside, she does not respect you. I think (and I might be wrong, I have been known to be wrong in the past) that I would talk to her that leaving marital home and going partying with other people is not working on the marriage. And I would leave at that. After that actions will speak louder than words...
Its really about her always wanting to be one-up on me. Everything i do, she wants to do, and even more so. Coming in late, I did 3am. She does 5am. Flirting with other girls, she does EA.
I know that she does not respect me and there is still no remorse, no real willingness to change. I can try to put her first, as she wants, that might keep her at home. But i don't want to keep her at home really (even though i state differently), I want her to make her mind up. That's another reason why i got 2 cars, so that she can either hang herself or me or commit. But at least something is going to happen, besides limbo land.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I really post too much. Better forum diarrhea than verbal hey.
So yes, she's seriously trying to make me out to be the bad guy. Probably going to tell the world bout how she tried to make it work, never even went out without me. How i never wished her happy mothers day, I disregarded her and went out whenever I wanted, blah blah blah.
FOCUS DUSTIN FOCUS. The end game is not her, it's me.
I don't think that I should entertain any R conversation from her, regarding saving of the M at all. She is definitely using our S as bait to keep me hooked and her cake-eating. She knows that I want no harm done to him. Meanwhile, this is doing more harm than anything else. I need to just watch her actions. I could say "i'm not ready to talk about making us work" - could that work?
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I cant and wont rebuild this marriage by myself as I am not the only one that brought us to where we are today. My son however deserve a mother and a father. So pull yourself together!
What do i do? If i focus on myself, she says i'm not trying. If i focus on her, everyone says i'm not DBing. I can't give up!
Not sure if this is the best response, but my effort anyway:
"I agree that this marriage takes both of our complete energy and focus in order to be successful. I am taking some time to evaluate my ability and desire to provide that. Regardless of the outcome of our relationship, our son will always have his father in his life."
It almost sounds like she's DBing you. Maybe I'm misunderstanding something. Her response may not have had affection, but it didn't show anger and she agreed to supper. Why do think she's just trying to get what she can?
mmmmhhh, Trifecta you say. Never thought about that.
well, if any good has come out of it, I feel "better" knowing that my WW does not care about me at all.
I needed to uncover the motivation for her pleas for attention, intimacy and looking after my S. I know exactly where it is now. Now i need to prepare for Saturday, going to GAL as much as possible this week.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
