Make some free air. Don't answer the calls not texts right away. Return them if when you have had some time and are in a good place to do so. Just my opinion.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
I agree answer then when you have time. My W sends text during the work day and I answer then at lunch or at the end of the day. Now she has noticed that and is sending them at lunch and at the end of the day.
Me late 30's W mid 30's T 15, M 10 S4, S7 ILYBNILWY June 2015 In house S July 2015 W rings off Oct 2015 My ring off Feb 2015 Separate houses June 2016
I agree with the others, no rush to respond to anything or make decisions. You do need a good L tho and get some advice--there are plenty that will give you free consultations. Do not let W pressure you into anything. These are big decisions!
So she is trying to rush the D. This is the headspace she is in now--but you already knew that--so this is not new information. So before any decisions are made or legal documents are signed, you need to really assess what is best for everyone--especially the kids--regardless of your feelings for her right now.
Situations change. People change. Everything $ucks right now, but it won't be this way forever. That I know.
-Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
So I felt that I needed to be a little more open with her, I sent her this text last night:
'i want to tell you something. thank you. these past 5 or 6 months have been very hard. however, had they not happened, i would not have confronted my demons and I wouldn't be the man and father I am now. it took a lot of courage for you to not accept a lesser version of the man you married. I'll be forever grateful to you for it.'
She responded with this:
'Thank you for saying that. Everything happens for a reason whether we understand why at the time or not. There is a purpose in Everything. '
Seems like being genuine and from the heart is what she appreciates most, but in the correct dosages.
Me: 38 y/o W: 38 y/o Together: 10 yrs Married: 7 yrs S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15) WBD: Sep '15 W's EA confirmed Oct'15 W Filed Dec '15 Personal awakening Mar'16
My heart breaks for you CRW. How can people just grow so far apart from the one they love and then act like a friend. It baffles me that the WAS can't get out of their fog and keep the family together. I commend you for all your efforts!
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
'i want to tell you something. thank you. these past 5 or 6 months have been very hard. however, had they not happened, i would not have confronted my demons and I wouldn't be the man and father I am now. it took a lot of courage for you to not accept a lesser version of the man you married. I'll be forever grateful to you for it.'
I kinda get where you are coming from...that you would not have improved yourself if not for her actions...but it almost sounds like you thanked her for her being unfaithful to you.
Seems like being genuine and from the heart is what she appreciates most, but in the correct dosages.
A couple of questions for you to ponder:
- Why did you send this message? What were you trying to achieve?
Probably because I had a few beers and was feeling emotional to be honest.
- Did sending this bring you closer to your goals?
I was nervous when I woke up this morning to see her response, which she must have sent first thing when she woke up. Overall I think it was a positive.
I guess I was hoping to inject some things to think about into her mind. I feel like I did.
Now the key is, back off and let her simmer.
Me: 38 y/o W: 38 y/o Together: 10 yrs Married: 7 yrs S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15) WBD: Sep '15 W's EA confirmed Oct'15 W Filed Dec '15 Personal awakening Mar'16
