Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Ghostbusting This

hey AP, you do this until you don't want to, or a judge tells you: you have to move.

If it is not working change something.

Its your choice and yours only. You want to be with your wife, that is where you are right now. make the best of it..

It her choice too, she is there with you so that is something. If she wants out she know how to do it, she is a big girl. You must be doing something right or she would be long gone, to a lawyer or OM or away from you.

Keep up the good work. No matter how small. Find some positives.

Thank you

Sometimes it does not feel like it is working I do not even know what I want

It is tough seems that she will keep me at arms length be nice to me but will check me right back into place if she feels the need

I am seeing a new IC who I hope can help me with my spinning thoughts

I still like so many just want to make this better

I am working in me still working in my fitness I feel healthier and this is s good thing

I am spending quality time with my children and I am really enjoying this

Talk soon

Ghost

Well I sm feeling stronger

I realise that getting upset is pointless I can go for a drive in the car yell or cry but it does not serve a purpose...when I am finished nobody cares ...perhaps I might feel a little better who knows

So I still have to get to the point on deciding to sell the house for now we are getting along it is loveless I continue to see my kids on a daily basis and when the time is right to sell I will be stronger and I will cope much better

I do feel much more in control of my emotions

Feeling happier

Ghost

Way to go ATPeace,

It's good to hear that you are finding balance and getting stronger each day.

Sending you my support.

Hey Ghost, playing tennis anymore? What about all the car related stuff you love. Any new GAL associated with that?

Fogg thank you for checking by my thread

I am not on here as much as I was...I find myself,spinning less

I,have not had much time for tennis

I still,get to play with my car which is good

I miss the company and intamacy of,someone who wants to be with me and I am not talking about the sex or making love i men the,hugging holding kissing

Is it too soon to be thinking about this

I so not want to sleep with someone else but I do miss the hugs and strokes and kissing holding

Personally, I don't think you're ready to go with anybody else. I understand the need for intimacy or contact, but I don't see you shacking up with just anybody to get that.

I can see you're sounding stronger - this is a positive Ghost!

Less spinning is always good

Take care. Rd

Your probably right it just feels lonley

My W is adament that we will never be back together I miss being close to her being her protector her lover

I am getting along so much better at the moment with my daughter and my other children so this is a massive positive.

I do feel that I am doing my share arround the house my wife will tell me that I wm not but there and days when I just feel fompletly taken for granted where she does so very little and I do not stop ....4 loads of washing on and dried and put away ironing done cleaned floors. As strange as this sounds i actually enjoy doing the jobs as it takes my mind if things.

Years ago all the things I did would have been me showing my loving as a husband now it just means I am doing my share and has no meaning to her.

I need to take the focus of her I am still trying to please her but she has gone left and I am not even sure that I would want to be with the new her ..at times I look at her and how she is being and it really saddens me as I want to be with the W I had.

I need to step up the amount I am using the personal trainer been a little laps the last couple of weeks time to get back on track.

Work is keeping me busy I still want to live in the same house it means I see all my children and live 90% the life that I had in semi denial

Keep happy we only have one life and it is a short one at that

Hi Ghost, you are certainly making progress from your recent postings. I would agree with others that you are in no way ready to consider meeting someone else. At this point, you are still living in the same house with your W and hoping to save the M. 'Ready' to me looks like D and with some time to recover after that. Or at the very least it looks like S and working towards D, plus having given up hope for the M being restored.

I'm not saying that your sitch will go to any of these places - only that like so many of us you aren't ready yet and I don't believe you would attract an emotionally healthy woman given present sitch circumstances.

You have been doing some good stuff and I would stick with it with the fitness - that's a big win for you. Plus, great that things have been going well with the kids.

If you can drop the 'wife-pleasing' stuff and just have a neutral, neighbourly approach. Plus, keep building your own life and GAL (tho not the female/nightclub variety) - this is the best way I think.

Take care - you're doing well my friend x