Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers 5 weeks in since she said she doesnt love me.

Easier said then done. She hasnt been in contact with her friends for awhile and she is extremely private. The only way is if i slip a voice recorder in her bag and hope noone finds it.

Weeks after being told she doesnt love me, i now know for sure there is another man.

Weeks of trying, weeks(months actually if include before BD) of wondering why im being rejected. The whole time i thought there was something wrong with me.

After finally prizing the truth from her this morning i feel emboldened. A weight lifted off my shoulders, i am not entirely to blame and i know now why all my advances were turned down.

I told her to remove herself from the master bedroom, today she will sleep on the coach until we determine what the long term plan will be.

I've let her know that while i still love her and am willing to give the marriage another chance i cannot have her polluting our bed while she has designs for another man. In spite i may have also reached out to the OM's wife to let her know as well. I do not know if she has read my texts as so far no response.

Did i do the right thing? My son (5 Years) will be devastated. I myself broke down when he handed me his broken transformers toy just now, i had to tell him i could not fix it and in my heart i thought the same about his little family. I have cried more in the last three weeks than i have in 2 decades.

Yes you did the right thing, however stick to one thread until 100 posts

Good job in not moving out of the MBR

I agree, I know you're hurting. But you did the right thing, you stated your boundaries and that's an important thing. Now stick to them.

The important part now is to look after yourself the best that you can. And part of that is looking after your S and protect him from all the crazy. You need to be the level headed steady parent for him. I'm totally in this with you, and although hard, I find in a way children help us. They give us that person to love, person to protect. Take him out, play with him. Anything you can to help to improve you and make you the best man you can be.

We're here for you

Do not move from your home.

Stay strong for your S, at this juncture you are the stronger parent and more stable for your S.

Please read Sandis posts about Wayward Wives, stand strong you can not 'nice' your WW back.

V

Thank you Cadet for editing into this thread.

I've cried so much today and i fear i may cry more before the night is out. Im starting to doubt my manhood a little bit in a jokingly kind of way.

This will be the first night i sleep alone in my marriage bed. Im dreading it. It feels final somehow. She has shown no signs of remorse, infact she has set herself up pretty comfortably on the couch. Maybe im just giving her too much credit.

You did good at setting your boundaries. I know the hurt your going through, but you must try, and focus on you, and your S for now. Hang in there.

It feel so counter-intuitive. Before was cold bed, now that i kicked her to the coach it feels like she hates me.

Im trying to go LRT on her but its like shes going all NC on me, well as NC as two people who live under same roof can be.

Let it unfold in time. It will get easier for you.

Hold your boundary.

V

I'm already sleeping in the other room, I actually sleep better, although i wake up early and can't go back to sleep. But my body will get used to the lonely bed.

It will definitely get easier.