Great job, Thornton! Proceed cautiously. Once bitten, twice shy. I know I would be to in my situation. Can the conditions that she blamed for leaving you the second time repeat themselves?
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
Hi Thornton, glad to read this and you can see here where time is your friend. What would your response have been a couple of months ago, compared to now?
I do think, as this is second time around for you, that she and you both will need to dig pretty deep here. For her, what is it that makes her run? For you, do you want to commit and marry someone who has run a couple of times already?
I think your approach was spot on and whilst you can remain open to further talking and exploring things, there's no need to make any big decisions in the short term. I always think it is best to dip a toe and date for a few months, protecting your own heart initially - then see what transpires.
Good luck with things xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Your are the DB master. Congratulations to you and love even how you handled the meeting. That is great and I am extremely happy for you. Keep posting because you certainly can provide a road map to others!
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
Nice thorton... so what do you do from here? I have thought about this in my own situation. For me personally, if WW did the same, I would say we still have to live apart for a decent amount of time to see how things go. good luck!
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
It's been a week since W and I met. There have been some calls and texts going back and forth and lots of friendly banter.
She is pursuing me big time. I know not to go overboard and dive right in with her. She keeps wanting to meet up and I am pushing our dates out. Tonight I will see her for dinner and a long walk.
She keeps saying she regrets leaving and is kicking herself. She understands she needs to be patient with me as I am guarded and that will take some time before I can start to lower my walls.
Sounds good Thornton and I think you are right to be guarded. Can I ask what you would need to consider possible R with her?
FWIW, I think her actions over the past couple of years have highlighted some emotional immaturity and I think you are right to feel concerned (and I imagine a little elated that things seem to be turning!) But my biggest concern here is for the longer term and whether she has the tools and maturity to deal with the inevitable highs and lows of a longer term R. What has she done now that is different and which mean she can truly stay the course and be a committed partner? Can I ask, what are your non-negotiables?
Take care and I think you are doing really well xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
