Hi Mleigh, you're sounding in a strong and sure place and I'm glad for you. Equally, as you say - take the time for emotions to settle and make big decisions in that frame of mind. I'm sure you'll do the right thing for you and I agree with others who admire you - I think you have been steady as a rock - in challenging situations. Yes, like all of us you struggle with them - but you are strong at your core I think.
I'm with you on the 'is this MLC or is this just how H is?' My doubt in my case is the shorter R, his 2nd M, the pattern of bouncing into a new R (in my case a year after separating, in OWs case a full PA). It's hard to know what would give me some reassurance at this point - but it would need to be a somewhat seismic shift. Then on the flip side - loyalty on my part, vows, some love remnants among the ashes, history, hope, am I abandoning him in hour of need and so on. It's all still percolating around in there for me - though our D is likely to finalise very soon.
Good luck with whatever you decide. I read somewhere that we do need to 'earn' our way out of the M - ie: by doing all that we can to try and save it before moving peacefully on. I believe you have done the 'earning.' I'm right here cheering you on whatever you decide, and have a lovely weekend. Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
