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All white looks great but so hard to maintain. I quite like the black with the sparkles. With plenty of cupboards to hide things!

Hmm I'd say he is probably looking for evidence of a male friend stopping over. Men can be jealous creatures. Even though they aren't sure if they want us- they sure as hell don't want anyone else too. And with you being such a hot piece of ass he knows that you won't be short of the attention.

Ugh, hired help is over rated :P nothing wrong with a gal doing it herself. I'm sure the novelty would wear off after a while and they would be happy seeing a woman who balance being a mom, working and a house- it's a tough job but we do it.

You are right, there's not a lot we can do with their thoughts, the best we can do is try to move forwards the best we can.

He would for sure miss the interaction between the two of you. No matter what hold tp has over him, you are the mother of his child- a child made with love. And when he sees the two of you together that is just going to remind him of that.

If it's any insight to a waywards mind. When I asked my h the last time he came back what brought him back. One of the things was seeing how I was still being a good mom and looking after baby

Cherry, your comment about being a good mum triggered a craving for some soup. And soup it will be for dinner tonight. Havent cooked for a long time...

Ooh that's good cooking is always a good sign. When my anxiety kicks in I seem to resort to an all toast diet!

Made soup. Darn corn wasn't sweet enough.

House is quite clean but I dont think xh is ever going to step foot into the flat. The clean flat is for me and kid.

Murphy and I are so tight that Murphy's law was probably created for me. The next time xh steps into the flat, if he ever does so again, will be the next time the house is in a mess again.

X-fil kept calling about some vouchers that I him for niece and kid. I kept missing his calls and he kept calling. Yet when I finally picked up his call, all he wanted to know was how to use the vouchers. He asked about my new flat and I told him that I have already bought it. Kept things vague and x-fil wants to meet to talk. Again.

He is not above passing info to his son and my thinking is that if his son wants to know about our lives, he either gets to know it through the grapevine that is kid, or he can jolly well ask me. I think it's time for me to stop keeping kid in the loop. Time to control the leak of info.

X-fil is the one who keeps pursuing me for an R talk about his son and I keep avoiding him. Whatever has been said has been said. He tells me that he can see that I have changed. He can see what I have done for his son and his family. He says that he feels a bond after all these years.

BUT HE IS NOT HIS SON. AND I AM TIRED OF BEING COMPARED AND FOUND WANTING.

And I am so tired of ugly crying in public. I really think that it's a matter of time before some mean spirited person videos me and then posts it on the web.


This would be funny if not for the fact that his son fvcked our lives for a POS and x-fil had met that POS and sort of approved her.

And then I worry that he will be the one to break to me the news that xh is going to marry TP.

So, I will avoid another R talk with x-fil at all costs.

Wrt to the kitchen, would love a black or a dark one but it'll make my tiny kitchen look tinier.

I am now leaning towards white gloss. I feel like having lots and lots of light in my new life with kid. Bright and shiny and happy.

Damn it. My dear friend Murphy just paid me visit again.

Last minute change in a project to be completed by Wednesday.

And I just found out that I had somehow managed to pass by xh and very possibly TP on their way to God knows what on Saturday. Xh had merrily dumped kid with his sister. So why on earth does he even want to see her so much?

Any suggestion? When kid spends time with him, kid is not spending time with me or my family. So it's not fair that he dumps kid with his sis while depriving me and my family of kid.

Hold on, Grl. I'm not saying what Xh is doing with kid is right, but I am challenging your belief that her developing a relationship with her aunt isn't valuable. Why is your family better for her that her dads family? If she was spending time with her dad would you use the word deprived? Why use it when she's with her aunt?

You may have explained some terrible character flaw in auntie earlier and if so I apologize. But it's coming across and you trying to control Xh.

Hi V,
Because when she spends time with the xh, she doesn't get to sppend time with my family at all.

He gets her all of the weekends and even I don't get her weekends. I only get her weekdays when she's at school and I am at work.

I don't get to do fun things with her at all. And my family doesn't get to see her at all with the amount of time she's spending eith him.

Nothing wrong with spending time with his family except that they tell her things like the D is my fault. They also make her feel like my family can't compete with them in terms of resources and kid feels it.

I guess I feel that time with me as a parent shpuld come first. If he feels that it's more time than he can handle, he should scale back.

As it is, legally he's only supposed to see her once a week but he has been using the excuse of me trying to control him to get his way. He spews and throws tantrums at me to get his way. He says that I am controlling him.

So he gets to decide how much or how little he wants to see kid, by always accusing me of using kid against kid against him.

In fact, he used that excuse to get pretty much what he wanted in the D.

By this time, I feel very tired. I feel like maybe it's time to start standing up for what I feel should be mine?

I really don't think it's right that he gets to fvck us over so many times. First by villyfying me in our coomon profession and among his extended family. Then by depraving me of time with kid.

He gets to enjoy his life the way he wants it and I have to pick up the pieces of my life again and again and again.

Thanks V for weighing in.

I can see how it will seem like to him from the way I gave my reasons.

I guess when I approach him, I will have to put it in such a way that it's for kid to see more of my family, than it's because I don't want kid to spend time with his family.

I do appreciate that they still love her, although I am very upset at what they've been telling her. And I have been telling xh and xfil that.

I realise that it's all in the packaging, the way I put things across. That I have to consider from another person's perspective. Lesson learnt.

Another lesson learnt. When life gives lemon, you either make lemonade or if you don't want to, you throw back the lemons.

Your WH is invading your new personal space, trying to own it and my lovely you let him.

Your WH has entitlementioned to certain hours with his kid, he wants more and you let him.

I have a word I would like to give you as an extra special gift across the board and space between us.

That word is NO. It is a very precious gift.

No, this is my space.

No, you have x day or y day with kid.

No more.

V