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I've decided that I have no swag. Gone is the confident Melo who was on his way to med school. I can actually feel the weakness when I'm around my W. And I'm sure she can feel it too. I need to get my swag back.

Buddy I hear ya. There are some days where I wonder if I'm still a man. I've taken my family to end of financial ruin twice. Once we had to be bailed out by my parents. I can see where you are coming from. Today, I took a step. I got my learners permit to drive a motorcycle. No helmet, no bike, no $ to insure one. But slowly I may be getting my manhood back.

I found this on the web - it was about WAW/WW. And it fits my sit to a t. I'm not sure if it fits your sit - but it's giving me a little boost.


She says what she doesn’t mean and what she means, she doesn’t say.

She believes her needs are more important than your needs.

She sells herself as somebody she’s not.

Any good thing you do or say, she sees as a threat.

She wants what she can’t have and what she has, she doesn’t want.

I think I'll look into getting my riding permit as well. Motorcycles are badass. I'm gonna try and go back to the gym for some swag

Thanks for being there for me brother. I got your back too

Melo just do things that make you happy and proud of yourself, that will bring your confidence back. Go to the gym and when you start seeing the changes that will help as well. It really will help if a woman makes a comment on how good you look. But when it all comes down to it just like Austin Powers your mojo is still in you, you just gotta find it!

I like that Tim, my MOJO is somewhere in here, it's just covered up by fear and resentment.

Melo: Let's remember that if we are going to be stand up guys who are God fearing etc we have can't do it in half measures. Compliments from other women would be nice and would build us up. But, if we want our W back we need to stay clear from the temptation, the inappropriate relationships, perceptions, etc.

Let's hope we can build ourselves up by behaving in a way that can make us proud and true to our Faith. If we are willing to give in - we should pack it in and call it quits on our MR.

I'm not one for tough talk, but a cousin of mine reminded me i.e. what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Absolutely, I need to make sure that my actions are consistent, that I have integrity, and that I can hold my head up high fearing nothing. That's the kind of man I want to be when this is all said and done. That's what I want my eulogy to say; not "well he tried really hard but he just couldn't get over it". I'm not there yet, I still fear tge loss of my MR, but that's my goal. I just really need to let go and trust in God and in myself.

As I filter things, I feel like exposure is the best option for my sitch. Because as long as there is another person involved my W will never be able to fully appreciate me. The longer the EA goes, the better chance it has of becoming a PA.

Melo: I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not - But maybe confront the OM? You really don't have much to loose. Tell him that we are still married and he should back off. Nothing may happen - but both the W and OM will respect you for doing it. The W will be mad but as the book says. Doing the same thing is not going to work. You could do it by phone that would be safe and appropriate.

Just my thoughts - I don't even know if it's a recommended strategy.