Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers She's thinking of leaving again 4

Great advice from Sotto. And, I agree, that whole "being friends" thing just isn't something I want either! Hard to walk the line though. Seems like you have a good handle on it.

Thanks for the support. I finally texted that I was busy and to enjoy lunch with S and mentioned Parents were coming for some of Easter. I got a couple of missed calls from W. Sometime later I rang to see what the problem was. Her first response was I thought you weren't answering my calls now. Me, I've been busy. She just wanted to chat about all the questions I hadn't answered in her texts. I was fairly brief responding and she realized I wasn't going to chat. She asked about her series. I pointed out she hadn't given me a pen drive but when she did I'd do it some time. Wished her a good lunch with S and bye. She sounded a bit surprised I didn't want to prolong the chat. I feel she still wants to rebuild the triangle but as I've said I can't go there. Well now it's Friday night and weekend I imagine it is OM time!

Sounds like your DB'ing was great….keep it up! I need to take a cue from you, so I can get the H to realize that we are not going to be friends.

It has been a while since I've posted. A student in my S's year group committed suicide last week so you can imagine the perspective that put on my problems. The tragedy coupled with reading up on mindfulness has helped me to keep trying to live in the present the best I can. Not relive past pain and stress or prelive an imaginary unpleasant future which may never become reality. The only contact I've had with W has been via text or email to discuss S's educational future. There were meetings at the school but I went on a different day to her. My parents are visiting for a few days but W asked S if he wanted to go with her for a couple of days to visit her parents. He said no as he wants to stay at home and be with his friends. W keeps try to arrange things to do with S but he refuses most of them. The NC continues I answer some but not all messages. As we go into the six month I imagine the chances of her leaving her OM are minimal given her level of obsession and self deception but I can only continue on my path and enjoy each day the best I can. Of course I miss her but I realise that only I can make myself happy.

Hi Scrant, I'm sorry to hear about your S's classmate - that is a tragedy. My brother took his own life in his twenties and is was a very sad time for our family.

The path you are treading is not an easy one, but you tread it with dignity and courage. I think that is as much as we can ask of ourselves.

Please stay hopeful that things will ultimately unfold just as they should. Who knows how you or your W may feel in the longer term?

Take care my friend x

Thanks Sotto. I'm sorry to hear of your sad loss, I can't even begin to imagine how you got through that. I'm having a few nice days with parents who are desperate to help and support. It is just sad to scan and send S's school report to W who replies thanks for sending it. S is in good spirits and I really can't complain, just miss someone who lied and cheated on me. Strange how the heart works! On with our lives, there isn't anything else to do..

Spending until Tuesday at home with my parents visiting us. S has gone for a coffee with W. He told me he suggested meeting up with her because she is going away for a few days. Despite all my attempts to detach it still hurts to think of her away with OM, probably because she had a holiday with him last year behind my back. Brings back painful memories I suppose and makes me feel a little bitter she can be off enjoying herself after everything. I'm at home worrying about a broken washing machine! NC for over a week now. She won't want to be in touch while parents here. Great to have parents here with us but in a strange way it just reminds what I miss about being a couple. Feeling pessimistic and falling into the old traps of reliving the past and speculating about a lonely future. See no chance of restarting R with W.

Hi Scrant - here's a big hug ((((((Scrant))))))

Sorry to hear about the trip and your washing machine. Who knows, your W and OM may bicker the whole time and it could be the start of the slow disintegration of the A - we live in hope!! Please don't speculate about a lonely future - your future will be as full of warmth and companionship as you choose to make it. Plus, you will be able to rest your head on the pillow in peace, knowing that you didn't dishonour your marriage and betray your vows.

How are things going with GAL. Do you still meet up with your footie chums? Do you have any further irons in the fire??

Enjoy your time with your parents and have the nicest weekend possible. Hope your washing machine gets sorted. I lived without one for 18 months - so go figure! I used my parents one, just down the road but it feels a luxury to have my own now. It plays a merry little tune when the washing is finished!

Xx

Thanks for putting things in perspective.I love this forum on down days. At the moment GAL has been on the back burner. I've had a minor sports injury and I'm battling off a heavy cold but I'll start up again soon. I need to get out more as I'm too comfortable at home with S.

Back to normal after trip to airport with parents . S running a temperature so we are chilling out quietly. Occurs to me that W is really selfish, in that she hasn't told me directly she is on holiday somewhere. Imagine S was really ill and I contacted her only to find out she was a few hundred miles away! I can't imagine the grief she'd give me if the roles were reversed! Oh well at least I'm here for him. A quiet day tomorrow should help. I was under the weather but now I have boy to look after feeling stronger. Going to spend next few days catching up on jobs and taking delivery of washing machines
S quite feverish. He'll be ok but the more I think about it the more annoyed I am. I only know because S mentioned it after a coffee last Saturday. Almost tempted to play the innocent and text her. Do feel resentful that she gets the free and easy life.
A busy day of driving, washing and cooking. Caring for a teenager while party girl/ super mum off with loverboy/OAP. Self pity time!