Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers I swear there some sparkling somewhere...(4)

Yes, practice your patience. You really do have the luxury of time. You don't have a D staring down at you, with the clock ticking, and also the pressures of having to make alimony or support payments even in the interim...

Use your time to better yourself, and be ready for your next relationship in case he turns out to be a fool.

Yeah but we're also not married so it means he can just walk away without any consequences. But you're right, the financial burden isn't there.

Just worried that if he moves or I move, that's the end.

That's all something you have conjured up in your mind. If it's meant to be, moving several states away won't stop you guys from reconnecting.

I certainly hope you're right.

Journaling:
Went out with friends to meet some friends of friends. Had a really good time drinking and playing games. Would've stayed longer but I had to take care of the pups and my ride was leaving (can't stay the night when the pups are waiting for me at home).
Makes me annoyed that I"m now having to take care of these guys all by myself. I love them but it was much easier when the responsibility was shared.

That aside, I'm not even sure what I feel right now.
There's all this talk of giving it time and being patient. I'm trying but there are some serious life decisions that will have to happen after Friday. And its looking like those decisions will be without H. I guess I still can't internalize the idea that if he doesn't come back before I move doesn't mean he isn't going to come back. Thornton's probably right. People move. Not sure I really believe in "what's meant to be" but I'd like to believe its true and he'll come back.
As I mentioned on I believe Tim's thread: ended up looking at the mutual bank account today. H bought desserts from a dessert shop up the street from me after he picked up his W2s about bought enough for several people.
Other thing I did notice was that he hasn't been spending money on OW. Hasn't taken her out to eat, etc. So either she's paying (which I doubt since she's unemployed) or they're basically living off of OW's best friend.
Means nothing, just an interesting observation.
I guess right now the best emotion I can describe is just numb. I guess there are worse ways to feel. I've felt them all today.

Spark, it doesn't mean it's the end. It just means you will both be moving. I have friends who reconciled after one came home to find her partner had packed her things and moved several states away. A year or so later they are back together and very happy.

I agree with NYGal. Doesn't mean it is the end. He wanted to move anyway, so what is the difference between MD or wherever and CO. I can tell you. You are a woman who has her $hit together and OW isn't. Much easier for a little boy to follow a strong woman than to have to take care of himself and OW.

In fact I think that is what worries me is that my WW is a strong (although very mentally weak right now) so she has the power to move on and never look back.

I wonder if he wants someone who doesn't have their sh*t together. The one time I saw more of H and less of WS, he did mention that I'm stronger than her. I asked if that was a good thing and he said something along the lines of "Of course." Of course, when WS reared his head the next day, he would same something about how because I'm strong, I'll be just fine without him.(trying to not listen to anything he says! but damn it's hard)
I also feel that some of his indignation towards me is that I would push him to get his sh*t together and he didn't appreciate that.
Perfect example is the drivers license thing. Ive been helping him get it figured out for damn near 4 years and he just always drug his heels. Now, suddenly, he's getting it done.

Woke up this morning and just kept thing "please come home."
It's pathetic.
Dad's opinion is that if he comes back, its going to be before I move. (Of course, he's not exactly a relationship expert)

And the rain isn't helping my mood.

*kept thinking.

Walked the pups and of course it started raining on me halfway through the walk (literally as far away from the house as I could've been on the path.)

For whatever reason, I'm getting more nervous about this week/next week. Match on Friday> I really have no idea where I'm going to end up. And next week I have a final project due (a comic that I'm writing/drawing) that I've been slacking majorly on.

One very sweet moment yesterday:
The friends of mine that I have been gaming with for a while (I don't know any of them in person, just online friends), I had told them about getting cut off from the games. They all decided without telling me that they were going to send me a couple of games so I could get back into playing with them.
Really sweet. Not everyone [censored] as much as H does.
Trying to hold onto the good right now but it's a struggle.

Hang in there, spark. I hope you'll tell us all where you'll be going when you hear on Friday.

Remember, wherever you end up, it doesn't necessarily mean the end of you and H. Anything can happen.