Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers My story JB910 (2)

Personally I would not help with the moving, she's a big girl, she'll figure it out. I would leave the house with the kids and she can make the move. It would be easier for all of you...

That's what I was thinking. What about helping setup stuff at new apartment. Internet, Tv, Etc... The kids will be staying there partime also.

What part of "She's a big girl, she'll figure her stuff out" did you not understand.

If they fired you from work, would you still go there to fix things?

Good point....

Hey Jb. I am about 2 weeks ahead of your exact sitch. My W move out this past Saturday and I struggled with all that you are going through now.

I did not help her move. I took my son and we visited some family. Kids do not need to see their Mom move out.

I have helped her with stuff pertaining to S13 but that's it.

It hurts like heck when you will see her packing stuff and seeing it all around the house. It hurts worse when you come home and see it all gone.

But, you will make it through it. If you are like me, its seems so permanent. But as Sparkls advised me, its just"stuff". Stuff can be moved easily.

It has been hard for me so far to not obsess about what WAW is doing, who she is talking to etc. It drives me nuts.

Try to focus on kids when you have them and GAL. I amworking on it but will get there.

One more caveat, they will be really excited about new place and will probably say stuff in front of you. That will hurt too. But, it's something new for them. That newness will fade as Thornton advised me.

Thanks for the heads up. I didn't think about the newness factor. I'll try to keep up with your thread, since your a few weeks ahead of me.

I can not stress enough that there is no reason for you to do anything to help.

The newness factor is nothing and it goes away fast! My W used this to get kids on board, then at xmas she went overboard trying to get them to like being there more.

None of it worked. They tell her they want to stay with me more to her face, S5 told her that it is not their home and my house is their home. I didnt look up or say a word.

I agree that you shouldn't help and the kids shouldn't see her move. Unless the kids need something, I'd let her do it all. She has to see what it will be like without you around.

This might sound like a stupid question, but here it goes. Wedding ring, she hasn't worn it since BD'd. Should I ask for it when she leaves?

No.