Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Need Advice

Another thing i wanted to add is if she ever does snap out of this (foggy stage) per say she is going to have a long road ahead of her also whether we R, or not. I'm the only one who knows about the stuff that went on while we were together, and i'm gonna leave it that way. Makes me the better person, but what's going on now is hurting alot of people.

Thank you for the support Cristy!

GWH, read your homework to gain some insight. In my own sitch and from what I have seen from others WW follow the same script and part of that script is to get really, really, nasty and say god awful things to you. Prepare for it and do not make the mistake of reacting negatively to it, getting mad yelling back, crying or what not. And trust me no one knows how to hurt us like WW so think of the worst thing she could say and amplify it!

I am sorry you have to be here, this is a truly sucky situation to be in. But you will find good advice and friendship here with people who are having almost the exact same problems as you.

Thanks Tim! Yes i've been through all that. I txt, and pushed her everyday since she left Jan 10th. Then about 2 or so weeks ago she said she wanted a D for certain reasons, but i found out there was OM. I may have pushed her into this IDK, but she did do that stuff before she moved out to so. I've been dark(LRT) since March 6th.

This is a great place to come to, and let everything out to other who are going through the same things you are.

I have to ask a question. If you knew the main problem was your son showing disrespect for your W, why did you not address it?

Main problem? Shmane Problem, My WW has been telling me that BS for 6 months. We have this problem, that problem, blah blah blah. I address them and then a new one takes its place. Here is the problem, you cant be married to one person and emotionally or physically involved with another.

I did address it, but not in the way i should have. ( I either yelled at him, or i didn't enforce what i said i was gonna do) Big mistake on my part. My S, and my W got along great in the early years when he was young then it just changed, and i'm not sure why. Now i'm not making excuses here, but there were alot of time when her(our) D disrespected me, and NOTHING was said so it goes both ways. Like i said we failed each other. That was just one of the main things that i knew i should have corrected.

I see what your saying endofit, but at least your tried to fix the problem. I didn't. I was supposed to stand up for my W. Did't matter if it was my S, or not. He disrespected her, and you just can't do that. It took all of this for me to realize that that hurt her deeply. Is it all my fault that she strayed? No, but i sure didn't help matters.

Endofit and GWH believe none of what your WW says. Take what they say and just self reflect and determine if that was a problem. My WW said some very harsh things to me. She also did was Endo's WW did and went from problem to problem. After awhile I thought heck I want to divorce me too. Then I started really thinking about what she said and look about at our relationship. Only about 50% if that was accurate. The remainder of the problems were hers... things I had complained about that she did, NOT ME.

This process is for you, learn from it or be cursed to repeat the same relationship over and over again. Figure out what your flaws are and fix them.

Thanks Tim! There's a great bunch of people here, and i'm glad i joined. I know i can get through these hard times, and being able to come to a place where there are people going through the same sh!t i am really helps.