Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Sparkling not so bright

When his affair blows up he will beg to have you back. And he will be willing to do the work it takes. If you still want him by then.

I agree with the Hope and Broke. But I disagree with you Sparkls... You wont be 'just fine' you will be fabulous the only question is whether H will be fabulous with you or regret his decision years from now?

You all are incredibly sweet. If only H would see that...Feels like sh*t to be thrown away for a 24 year old unemployed ex barista who has spent time in a psych hospital and refuses to take her meds. But there's clearly something about her that is just intoxicating and I can't compete with that...

You CAN compete with that hot mess!

Apparently not, since he's with her and not speaking to me....
I can give him stability, a home, a family, loyalty and a future.
He doesn't seem to want that from me. He wants it from her. He's built me up as a monster and walked away. No, ran away. Right to her.

*sigh* sorry, I"m not exactly the most optimistic person lately.

You'll get there, Sparkly!

Slowly, your down days will become less and less.

Sparks, I'm going to challenge you... what are you thankful for?

Look at what you are competing against. An unemployed barista out on parole from the mental hospital and most importantly not taking her meds. You as a doctor knows what happens to people when they do not take their... they relapse. I have clients who got into trouble just cause they did not keep up on their meds. So imagine what will happen to that relationship as she starts breaking down again and going crazy, he will head for the hills. Imagine how good a successful, calm, logical, babe is going to look to him. I cannot say he will come back but just like my WW's A, you can see how your H's A will end. It will simply implode. The real question is whether we will still be here and available when it does.

Tim: It will implode. Or it won't. The happiest couple I know of have been married for 20 years and started out as an affair that started 2 months after W's wedding to her XH. That doesn't really change the fact that he chose her. He chose that over me.

I don't know what it is. I'm sure i'll feel differently later but right now, I'm just done. I want someone who is going to fight for me. Who recognizes everything that I am and is loyal to me the same way I am to them.
I made this mental deadline that if he didn't say anything to me about match day (ask me where I was, wish me luck, etc), then I would walk away. I want someone to share those moments with and if he does come back, that'll be a moment he'll never be able to get back. Same with my graduation. That's the culmination in everything I've worked so hard for for basically my entire life. Never getting less than a B. Never giving up. And he was there for almost all of it. And now he's chosen her over all of this.

Thornton: I'm thankful for my dad and how much he's stepped up. I'm thankful that when my world fell apart, I had a great group of friends who acted as my safety net. I'm thankful I'm young, relatively healthy and looking at a solid future with financial security. I'm thankful my mom isn't here to see this. And I'm thankful for moments like this when what I'm not getting from H is just as important as the future I'm losing.
And right now, I'm thankful for a very hot shower that soothed my feet and puppies who will always love me unconditionally.

Your right it could end or not or he will come back or not. You definitely deserve to have someone to share those moments with. I was thinking and maybe a bit depressed that I wish I was there to hold WW's hand during her surgery, to comfort her during her pain and to take care of her during her recovery. She denied me that by leaving, but I cannot focus on that because it was her decision and not in my control. Just as it was his decision and the only thing we can do now is move forward and maybe those future moments they will be there maybe they won't. However, in those future moments we will be with someone who deserves us, who loves us and who we love and choose to be there.

Hey, Sparkles, just checking in to say I hope you have a better day today!