you seriously got to stop. Your marriage is dead, over, done with, kaputt. That does not mean that you will not build a new relationship with your W, but the marriage thing- over.
That being said, miracles do happen every day, but do not count on it. Is it likely that your situation will change drastically in the next 3 months. I am sorry to say that would be highly unlikely, frankly IMO you have better chances that aliens will land at Windsor and take the Queen for a ride around Saturn.
I will let you in on a secret that is not publicly shared around here. The ONLY true victory of DB is to get yourself BACK, the true you, tot the contortionist that bend every way possible to make the wife happy, only to end up kicked in the nuts. DB teaches you get back to the roots of the true you, and you work on you, improve yourself to be a better man. Can you honestly say you want your old marriage back? I am betting you are starting so see that it wasn't all that great. So you got the gift of time (as Cadet put is ever so nicely) and use it wisely to better yourself. You cannot even begin to grasp how much you can improve yourself.
But you got so hake the fear off first. Your wife is gone and no amount of pining after her will get her back. What will give you a fighting chance is if you better yourself and become a man only a fool would leave. And once you better yourself, you will like yourself a whole hell of a lot better too. Only then MAYBE your W will see what she threw away and might want back. The interesting thing is that you might not want her back...
Stay strong buddy, all of this takes time, months and years rather than days and weeks.
We work with numerous people calling from the UK and are able to schedule times that are quite convenient.
There are many different ways to do the last resort technique. Specific instruction on how to use it in your situation would be best supported by a DB Coach in order to get your marriage moving in a more positive direction.
I highly recommend taking of advantage of the online special for Telephone Coaching. You are at a very fragile point in this relationship and it would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Please call me to discuss our DB coaching program at 303-444-7004.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
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Well, my w approached me this morning asking what was happening. I told her my new job was now confirmed and I will start after Easter. She then asked if I had found a place to live. I said I am working on it.
She says that she has 'moved on' and her heart is not between us. She doesn't want me doing more around the house or making her coffee or being nice to her. She just wants space and then we can work on a frienship? She says that it's not because there is an atmosphere between us..just wants to be happy in her own home.
How do you work on a friendship with a view to saving a marriage?
I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
How do you work on a friendship with a view to saving a marriage?
IMO, this friendship thingy is a NONO in my book. How can she seriously expect to be friends after she did something like that to you? My W too sent me Facebook friendship request after she left. She asked why I haven't confirmed her, I just looked at her and asked:˝Really?!?˝ She really did not understand why I did not confirm her and why I do not want to be her friend. I mean really...
She just wants space and then we can work on a frienship?
I think that this is the key phrase here...she needs space. She is telling you right out what her need is and this is something 5hat you need to learn how to do.
This is where you learn how to live YOUR life, detach from her railroad and go your own way. If you dont want a divorce, fine don't file...but you cannot stop her if that is what she wants in her head.
You need to really start to focus on the pwrson youbwant to become and take thiae steps forward to start...one step is how every single journey starts.
Is your gal all it can be, how have you been doing with making new friends reconnecting woth old ones. How have you been with focusing on behaviours within yourself thst you need to change. How have you been treating yourself? How about your goals.
^^^^THIS is the heart of DB and what you should be focusing on right now.
Yes place to live to suit your needs is immediate concern, but her friendship should not be. She needs her space, if you love her as i imagine you do...that is precisely what you should do...
This is not easy...there are few days go by i dont thinknabout what i could be doing better to make this relationship stronger / more passionate / more intimate...but that wont work, she cannot handle that with me right now and if i pusg she will only withdraw more. This has to evolve naturally and it will take way more time than we think it will.
We are rooting for you and i hope to see some more goals and gal plans for you very soon. Remember...one step is all it takes to start moving.
I made a mistake last night by speaking to my w about how we didn't meet each other's needs. She flew into a rage saying that she did what she could by cooking and cleaning and looking after the family. I said, they were not marital needs. She just replied that she doesn't want to talk about the past and I need to move out as attacking her will affect our friendship.
She was real angry and kept saying that we are finished. She is very frustrated by me being around.
I just wanted to talk to her about what could have been avoided if we listened to each other. She just isn't interested..
I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
How do you work on a friendship with a view to saving a marriage?
My opinion is that as long as one of them wants out of the M, they are not going to view friendship in the same capacity. Let's say the woman is wayward and the man is hoping to reconcile the M. She looks at his friendship in ways she can benefit, like selfishly using him for whatever she needs at the moment. He looks at the friendship as being time for them to get closer and slowly start working on the MR. If he ever tells her no, then she cries, "But I thought you wanted to be friends", and if he tries to be anything more....she reminds him real quickly they are only friends. So, he gets the short end of the stick anyway he goes.
They need to have the same objective. Once the wife ends her wayward behavior and is ready to save the M, then they will have the same objective and can be friends.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
