I am obviously not Sandi, but here are my 2 cents. She is blowing smoke up your ass and is gaslighting you. You are not causing your W's medical issues, so by definition you can not be held responsible for them. If she has medical issues she should consult a licensed medical professional.
And stay out of her head, trust me, you do not want to be in there. You do not know what she is thinking and being "extra nice" will get you nowhere and fast. Stick to your guns, take back you balls from her purse and show her you are a man, not a pushover.
Vapo is right, JB you need to man up and stand your ground. If you move out all kinds of bad things happen. Just Google "husband leave house divorce" and you'll see all the legal and custody issues with abandoning your house.
Stand your ground, stay in your house. If she wants to blow up the marriage, she should be the one leaving the house. This is one thing I didn't screw up when I discovered her EA.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
I sent (or thought I sent) a post, but I'm not seeing it.
I think your nice-guyness is showing. Unless you have withheld information about the MR, then I don't see your W giving you a legit reason for breaking up the family. Her telling you she gets panic attacks and that you have to get away from her immediately is a little suspicious sounding, to me. She then threatens to take your children and leave if you don't move out. To me, that is being a bully.
You are concerned and are considering leaving b/c of her health? You are the one with health issues.....not her. Has she been to a doctor about these attacks? Is she taking prescription medication for her panic attacks? Have you ever seen her have a panic attack? If so, and if you are the reason......what is there about you that gives her panic attacks?
It all just seems a bit....convenient.
Like I said, check with a lawyer.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I'm going to have coffee with her in 30 minutes. Listen to her with eye contact then let her know I'm not moving out and if she takes the kids I'll get a emergency custody hearing.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
things actually went well. She's moving out and we're splitting kids 50/50. She's not filing for divorce right now because she doesn't want me to lose insurance coverage. She asked if we could keep one account to pay all bills. This is a little weird. Any thoughts?
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
