I would tell any H to not permit a child to start sleeping between him and his W. It builds a wall between H and W, and it develops into a terrible habit for the child. Even if the child slept on the other side of the W, it would not be a good situation for the MR. I feel that many women do it intentionally to keep the man from initiating sex. She has a built-in excuse of the child always being in the bed and she might wake up.
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Sadly, we made no efforts to talk about our problems before I found out about OM. We had no previous affairs in our relationship that I know of. I searched her phone and found the texts because I noticed that she was on her phone more than usual. I'm not proud of snooping, but I couldn't help myself. That same night I approached her about just wanting her to be happy. I'm sure I caught her off guard. I had no plan and was acting calmly, but impulsively, if that makes sense. She said that she didn't want our daughter to come from a broken home, but that she couldn't live like this anymore. She also said she wasn't sure if she could financially handle living in our house by herself. Than she left to go be with our daughter.
You need to decide how you will respond if she wants to continue living under the same roof, but not giving up her OM. Would this be a deal breaker for you?
I don't think she knows that I am aware of the OM. But I don't think it's a deal breaker for me. It's going to be a challenge, but I need to quit being the nice guy doormat.
Any thoughts on why she's not brining up D? I think the fact that I'm no longer gonna be around to watch my daughter or drop her off at school (like I do occasionally) has something to do with it. Convenience?
Any thoughts on why she's not brining up D? I think the fact that I'm no longer gonna be around to watch my daughter or drop her off at school (like I do occasionally) has something to do with it. Convenience?
Trying to figure out what is going on in her head is like trying to figure out the direction of a hurricane. Just a big mess.
Any thoughts on why she's not brining up D? I think the fact that I'm no longer gonna be around to watch my daughter or drop her off at school (like I do occasionally) has something to do with it. Convenience?
My hunch is that she's stalling to see what OM is going to do. In the meantime, she has all the advantages of being M to you.......without the disadvantages.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Need to add that I've discovered that the WW has been drinking every night. About 6-8 oz vodka nightly. Should I confront her about this?
I'm curious about your choice for confrontation. I'm not judging at all. I'm just curious. You didn't confront her about the text to OM about a potential PA but you are considering confronting her about her drinking. I'd say both should laid out on the table quickly but then again, my best thinking got me where I am now so I am probably not the best source of advice. But I am curious. Why more willingness to confront her about drinking than about what basically amounts to the beginning of an EA?
Need to add that I've discovered that the WW has been drinking every night. About 6-8 oz vodka nightly. Should I confront her about this?
I'm curious about your choice for confrontation. I'm not judging at all. I'm just curious. You didn't confront her about the text to OM about a potential PA but you are considering confronting her about her drinking. I'd say both should laid out on the table quickly but then again, my best thinking got me where I am now so I am probably not the best source of advice. But I am curious. Why more willingness to confront her about drinking than about what basically amounts to the beginning of an EA?
Hi Hoppy, I'm not sure why, to be honest. I do know that I want to feel like my daughter is in good hands when/if I move out. A couple of times WW got drunk and went to sleep, while D6 was still awake with no real supervision.
Any thoughts on why she's not brining up D? I think the fact that I'm no longer gonna be around to watch my daughter or drop her off at school (like I do occasionally) has something to do with it. Convenience?
Trying to figure out what is going on in her head is like trying to figure out the direction of a hurricane. Just a big mess.
DETACH and LET GO
Thanks Cadet. I know you're right. I just need to man up and move on.
Any thoughts on why she's not brining up D? I think the fact that I'm no longer gonna be around to watch my daughter or drop her off at school (like I do occasionally) has something to do with it. Convenience?
My hunch is that she's stalling to see what OM is going to do. In the meantime, she has all the advantages of being M to you.......without the disadvantages.
Sandi, I felt like your post about Nice Guys was speaking directly to me. Thank you. I downloaded No More Mr. Nice Guy. About 1/4 of the way done. Great stuff. Thanks.
