Saw her at the club. She chose a locker very near where I always go. Coincidence or...??? I should have smiled more. Oh well.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Hi NYG, sounds like you are doing pretty well. Do remember to try and not read anything into what she is or isn't doing - no expectations is best...and who knows why she chose that locker - habit maybe.
Oftentimes (because we are associating so much with them) we believe (positively or negatively) stuff they do is associated with us. Some of it might be - but we can spend (completely unproductive) time focusing on that to the detriment of other more useful stuff.
Hope you have some nice things planned this weekend xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Are we all just fooling ourselves that this works, that anything we do or don't do makes a difference? That it's best to have no contact, even if that means they just go on about their merry way? My W said she was so close to giving up her affair, then I told her I couldn't take her indecision any more, and now I feel that standing up for myself just made her more likely to stay with the ow. Every day is a trial and it feels like I get convicted and imprisoned every single day. Yes, I know it's a pity party, but that's me right now. I'm almost 60, my perfect life is gone, I'm desperately unhappy despite doing everything I can think of to feel better. Everything tells me this A is doomed, but I don't know how I can continue in this new "life" that is now mine. I want to stop this pain. I can't bear it. I am so miserable. My beautiful partner has left me and I can't bear it. I only want her to come back to me. I can't take this pain. I don't care if "it gets better", all I want is for her to come back to me. Please, can someone or something give me hope?
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
At times I feel like you and no you are not too old. In my meetup group I have befriended someone about your age and she is full of life. Regarding your first sentence I agree with you, but today one of my friend reminded me that things happen for a reason.
In my personal case it's that I knew I was depressed but expected STBXH to bring me happiness and it'll go away. It didn't work as depression only help me to destroy my marriage. Now I can see why he doesn't love me and cheated on me. Wasn't the best person to live with!
I'm one year since BD, still hurts and don't know what the hell I'm doing with DB, but one thing I can tell you finding this website has been my life saviour.
It might not save my marriage but I'm definitively in a better place than last year.
I can't give you hope.. I can let you know that I feel the same some times. That you aren't alone. That I wish I could give you a big ol hug. We would be great wine drinking buddies. I wish I had better advice to give youbesides to keep trying to be the best you. Thats all I'm able to do right now. Try to be the best me for me.
I need to say one thing that I have learned. This site never was intended for you to get her back. It was to get you through it. Yes I know we all came to fix it and get them back. But that isn't really what it is for.
If a byproduct is them coming back then ok.
I have a question for you. Have you done a coaching session? You get some interesting different advice than on here.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
I've had 5 coaching sessions. Not in a while. If this site isn't to increase our chances of getting them back then I'm not sure why I'm here. That's all I want.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
This site gives you the best odds of getting her back but there aren't any guarantees.
The premise of DB'ing IMO, is to become awesome on your own. And when you become awesome on your own, you become attractive to other people and sometimes the WAS.
Every person has free will. That means that if your W is bound and determined to move on without you, there are no websites, methods, tricks, jealousy, or other things you can do to bring her back.
The old adage is very true... If you love something, set it free, if it comes back it was meant to be. If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with.
No matter what happens with W, you WILL find happiness and love again.
Listen to the song Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks.
I remember praying for my ex wife to return to me and I eventually met current W. Current W makes my ex look like an amateur. I was so happy when I met current W that my ex never came back.
That's how life works NY. It's hurts like hell. It makes you want to cease living.
But there's something you can't see yet that is going to be so good for you. You have to have blind faith. Believe even though you have no reason to.
It's only the hope that she will come back to me that keeps me going. When I lose that I feel I have nothing.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I know the feeling you are talking about. My whole life was wrapped up in my goals and dreams with W. Everything I thought about and planned involved her and our kids.
I feel like I've been dropped in the middle of the Sahara Desert and I have no idea where to go because W took my compass and my water.
