This is the way I see it. If they are really that into us, they will contact us. When they do, we must be ready to respond in a strong and confident manner.
They already know that we will do anything to get them back. When we initiate contact for frivolous reasons, it only reinforces the idea that we are still clingy.
We dont initiate but we don't push them away. Hope this makes sense.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
She was contacting me, and I was responding in mostly a strong and confident manner. (But not completely.) Then I lost it and got impatient and told her to leave me alone. And that stopped all the progress we had made. I miss her. I think I made a mistake by telling her I didn't want to hear about her angst anymore. I can't work this out in my head! I feel her slipping away and into ow's arms. And that stinks.
Please, isn't there another way? I do have one more bill I need to tell her about... it was due and paid on Saturday... yet I don't really want to be the one to initiate anything. Damn, why can't we mind read???
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Wonka, calling Wonka. Help? Same old same old, but what I'm doing isn't working as well as what I was doing.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I know it's a struggle. I don't have any advice, as I'm right there with you. But I like to think that the chances of us saying one thing completely derailing everything is exceedingly unlikely. I mean, reverse the situation. If she told you the same thing, would you listen?
M:26 H:32 T:8yrs ILYBNILWY/ "I'm not happy": 2/6/16 D-Day-discovered PA/EA: 2/10/16 Separated: 2/14/16 He's living with OW I moved to different state: 06/16 Currently: Trying to move forward
Oh dear, something has happened here that reaaaaallllllyy makes me want to text her. Something that ordinarily we would be strategizing about together. Obviously she doesn't need me for this, but ... gosh, I really really want to reach out. And I'm also hoping that it is keeping her so busy that she won't have any time for skanky ho ow. Give me strength...
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Don't do it. You are expecting a reaction and WAS can smell that a mile away.
You want her to come back? Make her feel like YOU are the one moving on.
Reaching out to her gives her a confidence boost and she knows you are still there. Then she gets to focus on OW instead of worrying if she is making the right choice.
She was contacting me, and I was responding in mostly a strong and confident manner. (But not completely.) Then I lost it and got impatient and told her to leave me alone. And that stopped all the progress we had made. I miss her. I think I made a mistake by telling her I didn't want to hear about her angst anymore. I can't work this out in my head! I feel her slipping away and into ow's arms. And that stinks.
Please, isn't there another way? I do have one more bill I need to tell her about... it was due and paid on Saturday... yet I don't really want to be the one to initiate anything. Damn, why can't we mind read???
My belief is that honesty is the best policy. If you don't want her to leave you alone then don't tell her to. You can fix this.
Oh dear, something has happened here that reaaaaallllllyy makes me want to text her. Something that ordinarily we would be strategizing about together. Obviously she doesn't need me for this, but ... gosh, I really really want to reach out. And I'm also hoping that it is keeping her so busy that she won't have any time for skanky ho ow. Give me strength...
LET HER MISS YOU! She will.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
Agree with the group - don't initiate contact. And, Sparkles makes a good point….one thing won't derail any reconciliation if she really wants it to happen. She will reach out if and when she wants to. In the meantime, what are you doing to be strong and confident for if she does reach out?
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
I'm acting as if. That's about the best I can muster right now.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
