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TimR. I wouldn't read too much into what S 13 said. Not that he is making it up. Because she is. She is going to try and justify herself to anyone that listens. Unfortunately she is dumping it onto S which is wrong imho. Let kids be kids. There is no reason to burden them with our crap.

Your a good man for taking the dog. It needs stability too. I couldn't take it with the cat W left. She had to have this frigging kitten to which I objected and told her when she feels she can take care of it go ahead. So that bought some time as we had a dog cat and 2 boys. With older 2 every other weekend. Anyway. When she left she leaves this kitten. After a month I couldn't do it. So a friend took her and he said she is happy with his cat.

Didn't mean to vent here. Lol. Hope you have a great day tomorrow! It is a joy to coach and watch kids learn and grow. Makes me excited for coaching handball this year. Starts Sunday! Want to take S3 to come watch and run around too.
Have a great weekend! Get some shopping and a steak in if you can!

I think you handled this very well. She's just trying to exert power and manipulate you, and you didn't fall for it.
I'm starting to see my WW in the same manner. She files for divorce yet wants me to do all the husbandry tasks, and pay for everything. We had dinner out tonight and she was acting the same way again. I executed Cadet's plan and did the opposite of what I would normally do, i.e. do her bidding. She was surprised and I didn't say anything.

It is just sad that our relationship has fallen so far. But I guess that is the theme throughout this site.

Tim, I don't know how you do this - but you're an inspiration. I hate to say that you make my situation look halfway normal, but it does. You're juggling a lot of balls right now and doing an amazing job.

I've not checked in today as I had to try to go and do something entirely unrelated - it worked for a bit.

You seem to be doing what's right for you, and that's great. I've actually slipped a bit as my regimen was extremely healthy before all of this happened, and I've been eating crappy (for me) and sleeping crappy - and just being crappy in general. But your post has been a good kick in the @$$!, I've got to drag myself out of this stupor.

I'm really happy things seem to be looking up a bit with S13, I know you're going to get it to work.

I've not thought about meds for sleeping - I'm not sure what all is available unless it's something like ambien. Have you tried melatonin? That seems to let me drift off pretty quickly, but my brain starts working overtime so I wake up after a couple of hours. My doctor said to give him a call if I needed him - I'm glad you're friends with yours. You should have a chat about options. You've got a lot of things to be on top of, and can't afford to be punchy and miss a beat.

I'll check in in the morning when I'm a little more lucid myself - here I am passing out at the keyboard. The only time I seem to be sleepy!

I'll read a few psalms, pray for you and your sons and even your WW and MIL, along with poor Red, Thornton, Pink, Cadet and Sandi who have both been so helpful, broke, Willdo, sparks, Painter, Wonka, the "assistant" and her Dad, my W, IL's, Mother and little dog to name only a few. We're all gonna do this and get through it. We'll be stronger on the other side.

God bless.

I've taken melatonin as well but its effectiveness is sporadic, wears off in a few hours, then I'm up again. What's effective for me is, believe it or not, Zyrtec (the allergy medication). I take it for my hay fever and it does a pretty good job of making me drowsy. Prevents looking at the 2am and 4am clocks.

Thanks everyone!!

I woke up at 4:00 and was on the road a bit after 4:30. Had to stop for coffee a couple times. My wrestler did great. Considering is a 7th grader wrestling against 9th graders. He won his first 2 and then lost two so he is out now. But OMG I was proud. Even better I just got home and got this really heart touching text from hear thanking me for being a part of his life and coaching him and he looks forward to being coached by me up through college. I know, I know I am supposed to be a grizzly wrestling coach, so if anyone tells anyone I said that I will deny it. I will also blame it on my sitch for being emotional currently.

Seriously is was a great day!! The bad part, the ride home. I almost started crying for no known reason. Just a terrible feeling of loneliness and desperation. I knew it would be bad with all the time driving and thought I prepared myself for it. Unfortunately not as well as I thought I did. Just seems instead of dropping the rope today on the way home, I found myself holding tighter than ever on my drive. Kept hoping WW would text or call but of course she didn't. Then all I could think was it is Saturday and POS OM is probably getting to spend time with my W. Argh!!

Well I think I am going to lay down for a nap and I think go get a beer, I mean GAL. Thank you all for your support and advice!

I feel ya Tim. I know my WH is doing *something* today with the OW (he told me he wasn't working but would be busy all day). And its taking all of my willpower not to snoop, because really nothing good will come of it.
I'm just more struck than ever that this is not the guy Ive been with for the last 8 years. Where did he go?
In the entirety of our relationship, I can count the number of days on two hands that we didn't speak to eachother, and it was due to lack of phones. How did we go from that to this? How can he not miss me? I've been in his life every single day for 8 f*cking years.
Ugh. Today hasn't been a good day. Trying to be the positive change I want to see and blah blah but man, today was one of those never get out of bed days.

I'm glad you were able to go do something fun with at least most of your day! It's pretty awesome to be appreciated, isn't it? If only certain other people in our lives would show us the same. If my stomach wasn't so upset, I'd be right there with ya for that beer, I mean GAL.

Tim and Soarks - I feel the same way tonight. Just got home from my parents and I want to drive by H's house to see if he's even in town. My gut says he's with the OW in the city 3 hours away. He hasn't texted boys so that usually means he's too busy to be bothered. Anyway, I'm telling myself no snooping! Glad to hear I'm not the only one wondering what WAS is up to on Saturday night.

On another note, congrats to your wrestler, Tim! That's awesome and he's so lucky to have you as a coach being so involved. What a nice feeling to be appreciated. Enjoy your GALing - I'm chilling wine as we speak!

Hey Buddy,

Glad to see you had a good time at the tourney.

It's crazy how those feelings can sneak up and blindside us.

It did fairly well today, but I saw a car just like W's and damn near lost it.

You're doing good, Tim. Keep going. Keep growing. Face your pain head on. It's molding you into who you are supposed to be.

Tim, thanks for letting us know. I think that's fan-f*ing-tastic. I'm proud of your son and you too! Days like that make it all worthwhile.

I know how you feel though - even when things are so positive the emotional roller coaster is still there. Your body noticed a turn you took days before and you're just now reacting.

In my having to type up stuff for the W's response letter, I was going through old photographs and things and completely fell apart. I've had so much loss in the last 3 years. The emptiness, that deep dark hole just becomes overwhelming when it pops up out of nowhere. So when I see things that represent loss as well as happiness and so much love that's gone - well my brain doesn't have a program to process. Neither does yours.

What's funny though is I've realized at some point, maybe 3, maybe 4 weeks ago - I really did disconnect. I did what it took to make sure I got no messages, no reminders - no nothing about the W. She accuses me of reading her email - and that is so opposite of my desires she doesn't know.

Because, I no longer want to know. It only brings pain. It's easier to imagine other things. I know about her going off to stay at the hard rock hotel on the 16th (day after our court date), and then she travels with the OM to their high school baseball retreat in AZ. But after I turned off the credit card confirmations, I'm off of her calendar, I think she took me off of her one drive (although she's accusing me of messing with it) - that's it! And, it's such a freeing feeling!

In fact today - after the W messed up my wireless account - I had to spend 20 minutes on the phone getting registered again. Once I was on - I realized I had all the phone records in detail going back forever. And you know what? I didn't do a thing. Yeah, I could look and find "his" phone number, and see how often and when she called or texted.

Who. Cares.

What will it do for me? I already know. That's all I need to know, and I wish I knew less than that now.

You guys and gals, give it a try. You'll be happier because of it. Let them wonder. Because anything I ever found out - gained me nothing but misery. I'm still sick knowing about that room, and I'll be even sicker afterwards. So why would I want to know about one more thing? I want to worry about me, I want to worry about people that care about me - because there's a few less in the world today - but in a strange coincidence, there's a few more too!

Tim - you did great. Have no expectations - and if you get something it's a blessing. If you don't - it's as it should be.

Have a great Sunday you guys.

Thank you Sparks, Broke and Thorton! Yea the end of today has been hard. I don't know which I prefer angry or sad me?? I think I do better with anger and it helps keep weight off... So maybe angry me is better me. Also anger I think is easier to focus, than sadness.

Sparks, was your stomach bothering you because of sickness or from your festivities last night? Hopefully, your festivities last night! I hope you had a good night even if your friends were trying to help but hurting you as well. I agree with the comment on your thread friends and family try to help by telling you just to move on but they do not know how we feel.

Broke I am glad you did not give in to snooping. I have done the same thing but am getting better at it. It is like we are addicting to the pain cause we search knowing we will find something that will hurt us, yet we still go looking for us. I don't know why we do it but I give in too and then I don't sleep for a few days.

Thornton, I hope you had a great day with your daughter, you deserve it buddy. Remember the biggest most important thing we can be is great examples for our kids.

BTW yes it does feel good to be appreciated and recognized by my wrestlers. I often ride them hard and can be down right mean to them. I love it when they recognize I do it cause I want to bring out the best in them. I know the grind I put them through is rough on them mentally and physically but it shows if they put aside their ego and pride, push past the pain that it really does pay off in fulfilling their dreams. The funny thing is when I started this, I really didn't like kids. I only did it because I didn't want my kid to continue to embarrass himself. But when I say I didn't like kids, I mean I really DID NOT LIKE kids. They annoyed the he11 out of me with their constant whining and needing babied. Now I really enjoy leading them and watching them grow.

I guess at this point at 41 and in limbo, I unfortunately may never have a son of my own. I may never leave a part of me on this crazy planet. While 7 years ago I could have cared less but now that really depresses me. I guess these kids that I teach in the long run could be my legacy! These kids could be the ones to carry my memory when I am gone and maybe a few of them will carry the torch when I am no longer able. I don't know whether to be depressed by that thought or honored. Right now I will try to be honored.