Been busy lately but have been reading here and there. You are now teaching me how to detach girl.
I am still having a hard time letting it go for good. I know the road, I know I need to come to some closure, but have a lot of confusion in my little brain.
I am very proud of you, the hard work you have been putting into this is amazing. Love the energy in your life.
You are and will be a great inspiration for many other on this board Red.
The attitude from your H is exactly what confuses me with my XH. It's almost like a sick cycle. He sometimes is close, texting, finding ways to keep in touch, then he goes away, not much contact. In my case I think that he is MLC stuff, I don't really know, but if it smells like it may be it. Who knows.
The truth is that they are out and about doing their crazy stuff and we need to pull everything together and be the best of the best. So, in face of it all, I can just say that you are doing well in taking one day at a time for the moment.
Take good care after yourself honey, you are a special person and deserve to be happy.
Today was harder then the other day..the kids were asleep. He was semi flirty but I am learning to turn it off. Accept that it's a love bone. Put it in my drawer with the other junk mail.
He gave me a hug. A simple arms wrapped around hug on the way out the door. First time in a week.
I was okay with it this time. It was simple. Most he has wanted to touch me in a week. It was okay. It felt more like a friend hug then anything. Not that I want to be friends.
I think with me smiling and being happy he took it as I'm okay with everything, we are friends.
I kinda feel like he detached from me which is forcing me to detach myself.
I really do miss him asking me 246356 questions and wanting to know everything.
For a whole week now nothing really. He rarely asks or mentions anything besides kids. If it isn't about the kids he doesn't care.
I know this is what I need and want but I do miss how it was before. I felt at least semi noticed instead of invisible.
There is nothing you can do to change him and his behavior right not. It is indeed very confusing and upsetting and maybe that's the way he feels right now as well.
The only thing you can do is every day to be a better you. Mainly for yourself because you are yet the most important person for you.
It hurts, I won't lie to you. I still have my moments and it is very hard sometimes. I even think that if my XH was all the time super mean, that would make it easier to just send him to hell and close that door.
But like your H, he is very caring and sometimes it is all about the kids. I get mixed messages all the time, it is very annoying because I question why this and why that.
I guess they are so confused that sometimes they don't even think much of what they are doing.
Hang in there, you are doing great and remember that it is one day at a time. You just started all this, be patient and believe in the process, there is an incredible possibility he will figure things out and will decide to come back. But, it not, you will be way ahead and will find a life full of joy for yourself and your kiddos.
I did my practice cna test today and got the highest score out of the class. Should be licensed in less then a month. Fully done except talking the nursing board exam for the state.
I really am proud of myself.
I'm down to a size 10-12 and in December I was a 14. Im hoping by April-May I'm a Size 8. My goal.
You are doing so well! Highest score in the class during all this turmoil in your life is a huge accomplishment. You should be very proud of yourself. You are very strong!
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
Keep it up, Red. Your natural sunshine keeps shining through even in these dark times. We are all proud of you.
Whether or not he thinks you are fine with everything is immaterial. He hasn't had a chance yet to miss your sunshine. Going to be a tough lesson when he learns the grass is definitely not greener on the other side. Tends to be a bit moldy with some nasty bits of weeds and grubs digging in the dirt...Don't forget that patch of fungus over there...
Keep doing you and moving forward on your goals. Less than one month and you get to start moving forward in your career!
M: 8.5 T:10 Me:37 W:34 S:6
Retrouvaille and W moves back- 7/31/15 Piecing - 7/4/15 to present
Well V, if you read this, you will be very dissappointed in me.
I had someone tell me my H is living with her full time and that is why he is being so distant and cold to me.
Literally 1.5 hours from his job he is willing to drive for her.
I had someone confirm they are on vacation right now.
I went to her job.
She is not there and on vacation.
She works at a farmers market so my friend walked by her stall Just shopping and the old lady filing in spoiled the beans, started just talking about how She was filing in and talking about the OW.
Said OW took the weekend off to go on a romantic getaway with her new love. My friend Just smiled and went along with it before finishing shopping in that area and came back to My car to tell me.
I broke down.
I threw 100$ out my window today.
I don't know why I do this too myself. Why do I care? Why? I'm jealous. He never wanted to do that with me. I'm hurt. I'm lonely.
I really want to Just go sleep with someone just to see if it helps even though this is my crazy side talking.
I'm really wanting to just file the papers and be done now.
