Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Yesterday's gone. Tomorrows not here... (3)

Pinn

The link.

I was trying to use WW text as an example........

Wonka does it so much better!

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2594869#Post2594869

Sorry link icon not working but it's WW Woofie PigPen and Wonka write emails

V

Thanks V... I see what you are saying now. This thread is great. This is how I learn the best. There are lots of interesting actions in here I can learn from. Thanks for taking the time to dig it up.

I misread that as dog it up

Made me smile

V

BD was 8 months ago today.. wow. Those 8 months absolutely flew by. I cannot believe how fast they went. Things have been more interesting lately. WW called me for the first time last weekend. I feel like the situation is coming to a head. I think I will be seeing her sometime soon. I think I am ready for that, it is time.

Had my second yoga class yesterday. I love it. I think it was Azzork who was always suggesting doing something where you met completely new people (where is Az by the way, he must be doing well and staying off the board). It does seem to make me feel good. Takes me out of my comfort zone in a good way. I am really busy... work, class, hockey, gym, marathon training, yoga etc...

The next few months will be interesting!

Pinn,

You are doing well my friend.

I can't believe you think 8 months has flown by. I'm a month in and it feels like forever.

Great job pushing your comfort zone. That's a sure way to become well rounded.

Any more word from W? Is she dropping any hints?

Thanks for checking in thornton. Yea it is crazy. At the beginning I thought time was going to stop, but it has gone be so so fast. I don't know if it is because I try to keep insanely busy or what but it really is unbelievable how fast it has gone. I actually want time to slow down a bit.

In terms of WW, we exchanged a few messages related to the taxes but could not come up with a time to get the forms. This is about as interesting as it got. Based on the call last week, I know she really misses the cats and what not. I told her she could stop by the house to drop the forms off if she wanted since I wasn't going to be there.... it went like this:

Pinn: If you wanted to you could drop off the forms tomorrow on your way to niece's bday... I can leave the house unlocked and you can see kitty1 and kitty2. I won't be home till late.
WW: I don't think I could handle going there if you weren't there.
Pinn: Oh ok.. I'm sorry... I just thought that you wanted to see the cats more than anything... no prob... I can get the forms next week.
WW: I do but IDK it would be weird without you. Thanks for offering though. I appreciate you listening to how I felt about it and trying to accommodate.

I'll have contact with her again tuesday or wed this week anyway. I am thinking I might ask her to get coffee sometime depending on how that goes. We'll see.

Pinn

Terrific interaction.

So rather than coffee since WW wants to see kitty 1 and kitty 2, how about a slight twist?

Next time WW contacts you acknowledged you listened to her and validate.

Sooooooo

WW blah blah I contact pinn

Pinn: when we last spoke I noted that you wanted to see Kitty 1 and Kitty 2 and that was very important to you. I have been trying to think of a way that could happen. If we can organise this between us is this what you would like?

WW yes or no

Pinn (if yes) I can arrange to be at the house X or Y although I have a meeting at Z, so it wouldn't be for long. At the same time we can drop off forms.

Then very very short interaction, warm neighbour, WW sees Kitty 1 and Kitty 2.

No expectations, no persuing. Let WW initiate.

My thoughts

V

Thanks V,

That is an interesting idea. My main concern about doing something like that was not being in control of the situation at the house. But if I say ahead of time that I have to leave at a certain time, that could work. I didn't even think of that! I'll definitely keep this in mind. This is seems less persuey in nature than asking her to go get coffee or meet up some where.

Thanks for the advice!

Even if she says no, you validated big time without any chasing.

V

Looks like I will be seeing WW for the first time in over 7 months soon (probably this weekend) so she can see the kitties and I can get the tax forms. I'll go into it with no expectations. The hard part for me is not having negative expectations. I am always thinking as the glass half empty since this has happened, I need to change. I have no worries about me initiating relationship talk. I have zero desire to go there. I am sure I will be posting some questions over the next few days. I do want to be ready in case she brings up D.

Besides that nothing really new going on. I did get a random picture of the pup today from her, I was happy to get that. That is the first one of those that I have gotten since she left.