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My WH went through this too.

For six weeks he didn't change the sheets on his bed, he drank heavily, put on weight, stopped grooming and smelled really bad. His clothes got crumpled.

He also stopped eating properly. I haven't seen him in a long time so I don't know how he is now.

All of the time seeing OWs and ranting at me.

Not your circus and not your monkeys.

You are looking good girlfriend. Getting on with your life, good for you.

V

I am trying V.


Working on me, myself and I.
Oh and kids but thats obvious.

It did feel good knowing that guys Still look at me and find me attractive. Much needed ego boost for my very low self esteem.

Rednail, I'm so proud of you and amazed by your strength. You are an inspiration to me.

You are doing great :-)

V- anyone:
I'm struggling on boundaries now that I know there is the OW.

I know he wants to be best friends but I cant.

I had another friend tell me I'm very hot,cold,nice,mean with him when I talk to him.

I need help figuring out how to change that. If I'm too nice I start feeling love for him.

Like today I was nice and I scratched his back when he asked because he couldn't reach the spot.

But if I'm distant or cold he gets angry that I'm distant.

I know it is all me right now and trying to hold it together and detach.

Any suggestions?

My inlaws asked me to make something for easter and again if s3 birthday will be at there house like it is every year.

H still wants the family daycation.

Red wants...I do not know

It is absolutely right not to even be friends with a WH who has sacked you as his W.

And I recommend that let go of what others think you can do that which is right for you.

His anger his problem, his circus his monkeys.

Let him play in his own sandpit.

And there he goes with the touch triggers again. You can't set firm boundaries if you fail to enforce them. Touching him isn't being 'nice' it's handing him control to trigger you.

So why are you struggling because there is an OW?

What do you want with daycation?

V

I dont know V.

I feel like because I know he has the OW I'm struggling with everything.

I dont know what I Want with the staycation.

On one hand I would love to go spend the day at disney and maybe overnight as a family.

On the other hand I think its a horrible idea since I will want to be a family.

I feel like since there is an ow i Want him to love me just that much more. I really struggle with not wanting to just crawl into bed and wanting to snuggle.

I thought I was doing so good but having Him be so affectionate friday them dead cold the rest of the weekend really seems to be messing with me more then I would like to admit.

Oh my poor heart. my s3 and d5 are crying asking why daddy isnt ever home and why he doesnt like them anymore. I think my heart's going to break into 5315763 pieces.

I'm sorry Red.

That's so hard when the kids suffer. All you can do is hug them and tell them you aren't going anywhere.

Red. That is tough to handle. I had S3 say he wishes mommy would move back to this house again one night. I reminded him I love him very much and I am always here for him. That each day we are going to have fun and adventures.

Seeing your kids hurt is terrible, you have to be the beacon in the dark for them Red. Stay strong! You are growing so much each day. Your decisions are clearer than they were and you have a good idea of the path you want to take.

Thats what I'm doing. I'm not lying to them anymore by saying daddy is at work or here or there. I just say I don't know but mommys here and I love you.