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Haha! Way to go, Tim

Lol NOT saying I am going to do that a lot, especially if I want to eat and have a roof over my head. Just that she seemed like she really didn't want to file and her daughter was pressuring her. Bye bye vacation!

All kidding aside, you may have just saved a marriage. Kudos to you, my friend.

Yeah I don't know what's wrong with me. And its not the first time since all this started. A couple weeks ago a friend from high school and I went to bar after going to watch PSU wrestle. While he is listening to me pour my heart out, in walks a knock out!!! Like 22 y/o goddess. As the night goes on my friend makes the comment, "your wife might not want you but she (motioning to the hottie) definitely does!" I look over and she is staring at me. When I catch her stare she starts smiling at me. I turn and ignore it and when next round was on me and I go to the bar to get one for friend and I, she begins talking to me

I am nice and talk to her (well my ego kinda needed it). I learn she has fallen off the wagon recently. She asks if I could take her home. I also learn she is married and leaving her husband. I agree I will and invite her to come sit with us. Then rather than going back to my problems, me and friend spend the rest of the night talking her into call H to come get her. She does and I visited that bar again to hear they are trying to work it out.

Question.... Why the F is no one doing that for my WW!!! BTW these strange acts of compassion that I have been demonstrating are not making me feel any better. But no denying I have changed.

KArma works, you are doing good, you being a lawyer, I'd imagine you pissed a lot of people off as well. Well, now you are on the upswing.

Thank you all for the suggestion of the ... While I am not quite done with it yet, I realize that she was the pursuer through out our marriage and then in the last 6 to 12 months she ran out of energy and gave up then I became the pursuer. I was relentless and tenacious, which pushed her further and further away. I am trying to work on that with counseling and coaching. I am also praying there is still something in there she feels for me besides all the anger.

Wow TimR. New guy here..but just had to say your ON IT! Way to go sending your client away w/ DBing homework...made me lol

And...WOW....great job controlling yourself at the bar. I know we are smirking a bit...but that REALLY is a big deal. Character. Integrity. it will win out, my friend.

Excellent.

Yeah certainly cannot say I am "on it." I certainly would have never sent a client away before but D is a dirty word to me right now. As far as the bar, while it boosted my ego, I would not want to be an OM. Also I was never the type of guy to take advantage of a girl especially if she were drinking.

My sitch is a struggle. I have made mistake after mistake in DBing. More importantly I have made the biggest mistake which is why I am on this board with all you. And just like everyone else I am just hoping to grow and possibly correct that mistake.

Well I can say WW and the OM are back on. She reopened her FB and Pintrest accounts. She of course is now not listed as married and trailer park boy is her new friend. Imagine that.

Right now I can feel my blood boiling!!! Needless to say, I will get no sleep and the bit that I do will of course be interrupted by nightmares. I can make it through this, I can. I wish I could detach on this but my mind goes wild. Just need to stick with my plan, continue to detach. I knew this was coming but it does not hurt any less.

What I don't really understand is she is a smart woman. This guy is not educated, is 38 and does not have a place of his own, hangs out in bars and with druggies, and has a job like a high school kid? WTF why was I sooooo incredibly bad that she moved on to something like that?? She is going to have to support his broke a$$ while he drinks away his any money he has and can scam off her. It also kills me he will be around my kids!!!

I really need to step back and avoid any contact with her in order not to explode. This is not going to be easy. 180 she would expect me to confront her on this... I am not going to do it.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF sorry I can't really even think straight right not.

Regardless, I am not going to react. I am not going to say anything, I need to work on me. Question is how can I work on me when I feel like killing him and then taking a warm bath with a razor. No I am not going to do anything like that, but I certainly feel like it.

Tim,

I'm sorry buddy. That's brutal.

There is absolutely no logic in affairs. I've heard that most people that have affairs usually do so with a partner that is "less than" their spouse. You would think it would be just the opposite.

I think W likes the way OM makes her feel about herself. I'm sure he charms her and that makes her blind to who he really is.

There is absolutely nothing you can do but to detach right now. Seriously, the odds of them ending up together in anything long term are nil.

I wish there was a short cut but there's not.

Realize that your W is an addict right now. And addicts act like.. well, addicts. Nothing she is doing makes sense and it won't anytime soon.

You probably won't sleep tonight but try and get some rest. Even if you just put on some jazz music and lay there.

Hang in there, pal. And stay off of her FB. The cats outta the bag and there's no sense in torturing yourself looking at that crap.