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Thanks for your comment.

Each time we have an issue the reasons are different. This time it’s that I’m not supportive enough. She says she needs more help with the kids. She needs to feel cared for. She needs someone to help look after her to make sure her needs are being met. This came out in therapy and I couldn’t argue and of her points. They are valid.

She’s also said that we’ve changed. We’ve grown into different people than we were years ago and there isn’t a connection.

Keeping some of this together--- I made a post in Sandy's thread. I think I fall into the nice guy category. http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2654255&#Post2654255

Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka
that I totally agree with.

Thank you. I still have both books hidden. It's time to give them another read.

I ended up taking the day off of work today. Last night I went out with a friend and apparently had one too many Micro-brews. I totally forgot about the higher alcohol content in some of those beers. Oops. So I ended up having to recover for a few hours this morning. I'm sure that annoyed W. She used to hate it when I was hungover, not that it happened often.

I read No More Mr Nice Guy today as it came recommended in Sandy's revelations thread. It was a very eye opening read. I've been emotionally attached to W just as Glover describes. I let go of my hobbies to try and please her. I rarely saw friends because I always wanted to be around her. I always put her first in the bedroom. There are parts of the book where I felt he was writing about me specifically.

I need to change. I need to find myself again and make it stick for good. I need to take control of my life. I really liked the bulleted list of personal actions at the end. Now I need to figure out how to put this into actionable tasks.

Yesterday I felt strong and in controlling. Today is a different story. Just over a week ago she was reaching for my hand while I was driving. We were joyfully playing with the kids. We were working together on getting our house ready to sell and actively looking at new homes. Now it's all fake pleasantries and avoidance. I feel anxious, confused, and scared.

It's crazy how fast they can turn on a dime. A month before my bomb, we were looking at wedding venues. She was telling me she loved me with all her heart. A month later she told me she didn't love me anymore.

Total and complete mindF*ck.

Thanks, Thornton. You hit the nail on the head, they turn on a dime.

I think I need to have an actual conversation with her. I don't know what's going on with her, and I don't won't to get into that with her right now. But I do need a schedule. I need to know when she'll be around to watch the kids. Right now I feel like she expects me to be home and it's making it hard to get out and GAL.

We have a regularly scheduled therapy session on the calendar today. I asked W if she was planning to go. She said no and asked if I was. I said yes. She got frustrated and said she didn't want to have our first big discussion about this on display for the therapist.

She said she tried to talk to me twice since our initial brief conversation. I only recall once when I told her I didn't have anything to say. I guess she wanted to talk last night but she made no indication to me. She said I was too busy trying to leave the house. (I was! It was time to GAL!)

She changed her mind and agreed to go to the session. I'm anxious but I suppose it's a conversation that needs to happen.

I just got out of the therapy appointment. A few points...

W says she still feels like I'm critical of everything she does. She constantly fears I'm going to disapprove what she does, says, or thinks. I can see this. I am overly controlling.

She said she isn't rushing to call a lawyer and file for divorce, but she isn't happy being back in this same place again. She is strongly considering a separation.

She said in a perfect world she'd want us to live next door to each other to raise the kids, but then do/date whoever we wanted. (Wow... I can't imagine.)

I expressed how I've been disconnected from the relationship due to all of the work from when we were trying to sell our house.

She mentioned how I've been very vague in my doings and when I leave the house. The therapist called it... she said perhaps I'm playing games to make her jealous or concerned. That's a byproduct of GAL that I was shocked how quickly the therapist picked up on it.

The therapist advised us to stop avoiding each other and continue to talk.

Off to enjoy some time with the kids!