Red...girl, our men are sounding somewhat similar. WHAT is WITH the COCKINESS? Mine actually said to me "yeah, I'm a likable nice guy" and I'm here thinking...UM...yeah, to everyone BUT me...fakeass.
I have the same issue with the "wanting to be loved" by my WAH. I really don't know why I would even want that anymore...but I do and it frustrates me to no end.
YOU have to, for yourself, avoid playing games with him. Don't do anything to see what he'll do (*cough* advice to self). He's not human, remember? Nothing he does is going to be predictable, and the more games you play the more exhausting you will be. I'm sure he's calculating his moves, and saying whatever comes to his mind without considering the consequences. Every time he speaks about OW and everything else in terms of your R out loud to you, he is convincing himself of xyz. I noticed my WAH does this too. They don't even SOUND like the same person. Let him. Let him drown in his crazy...let him reap what he sows.
Don't worry about the inlaws. Don't worry about what anyone else is doing right now...the more you do, the more energy you take away from yourself. By letting OW and their son stay there, they're not doing anything to you. I know it's going to hurt, but even if they don't agree with their son they're likely going to support him even if what he's doing is 50 shades of messed up.
Roar is right. You probably can't count on the in-laws to be on your side. They may not approve of what he's doing, and they may love you and the grandchildren. But he's their son and they will protect him. Don't let them see your weakness. It's better if they don't see you at all. Always be kind to them, but always be strong for yourself, even if you're acting as if.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
This is true, I have to let the thought of my inlaws and what they decide to do go.
I know, I thought I was strong enough to see what he would say but that backfired.
My post is SUPPOSE TO BE the highroad..TODAY this morning..I WAS IN THE DITCH.
Spending today climbing back up onto the damn road.
I have ONE MORE CHANCE at interaction today.WHEN HE COMES BACK.
He said he is coming while kids are napping so usually that means we hangout together and have alone time.
Today I will be prepacked and as soon as I have the money just leave. Go NC FROM THE MOMENT I WALK OUT THAT DOOR.
GOALS: Get my money Open bank account Go on a date( with my sister =D) NC NO MORE trying to be a smart A and get a reaction from him..we see how that turns out. Horrible for me.
My ex best friends ex husband called me today..he said his mom heard my H left and felt so bad for me. He was h's best friend for years up until last january.
He wants to meet up and Talk. Good idea or bad? Idk if he knows our exs are together. And we were both their best friends.
I'd talk to him. I'd be so curious to know what he has to say. See if he knows before you tell him, though. And maybe don't tell him about the A. The more people that know, the harder it is for H to come home. What is their relationship like at this point?
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
You can't really assume that it's over with your H, you know. Hooking up with XBFF's XH might be the nail in the coffin and make it impossible for him to return to you when the A fails.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I'm worried about you playing with fire. No more game playing with your H. Please. He is pretty controlling. And why is he coming while the kids are napping? Can u set a weekly schedule? Let him skip overnights with kids if you are able to take care of kids. Better than them being with OW and he wasn't great role model when he was with her (since your D saw them together).
Be very careful with the ex-husband. You are very emotional and overwhelmed right now. Tread lightly. I'm glad you are getting out though. Stay strong. Keep us posted.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
