Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers have i been making mistakes too long part 7

Thank huddy, I needed that. It sure doesn't feel possitive.

im feeling pretty depressed this morning. I cant stop thinking about my kids, our home, and the kids school. I don't know how I will ever afford to keep then in private school and keep them in their house. I would do anything for them but I have limited finances. The W knows this but refuses to look at the reality. The reality is they will not be able to continue to go to the private school or they will have to move out of the house they have grown up in.
I know im not solely responsible for keeping their lives the same after the D but I don't want my w's decision to effect their lives negatively. I would gladly live under a bridge to keep them comfortable.

I am looking for advise regarding my w eventually having some other man in the house with my kids. The thought of someone other than me raising my children keeps me up at night. I don't think I will ever be able to handle this.

Have any of you faced and concurred this sitch?

regarding your house, I am fumbling with the same thing right now as I am coming to find out there is a lot more equity than i thought. Normally a good problem, but now i will have to pay W her share. Dont know how i can do this. I am hoping she will be flexible with this and open to be creative.

As far as the OM thing. I drives me insane also, i put it out of my mind and i know my kids will never replace me with anyone. I havea feeling they would reject him. I also then think my wife has to have these same thoughts about another woman replacing her as well.

just try to put it out of your head.

I know hard

Thanks, otw

My W told me this weekend that she would love for me to find someone new and that it would not bother her in the least for me to start another R. I find this hard to believe. She has always been jealous of other women. I played piano for a living for a while and she used to watch me like a hawk and freak out every time another woman looked at me.

It may not bother her but the thought of her having a new man makes me sick to my stomach. I still have a gut feeling that their is at least an EA going on but I cant prove anything.

My life is so messed up these days. Its hard to believe that things will ever be normal for me again. I don't know if I am strong enough to get through this. I hate to say that but that is how I feel. I am so angry with her stubborn attitude. I know that things between us could be great but she will not even entertain the thought of reconciling.

believe nothing that she says. she is saying that to reassure herself in her actions. If any response comes from you it should be just about doing things for yourself and taking care of you and not another woman.
Believe me it will bother her greatly.

Don't take the bait.

Ditto. Another one of those pieces of script that flows out. My W said the same to me. I went out on my own for a day and she waited three weeks to throw it back about where I'd been and who with! Remember, everything is skewed right now.

Really? She seemed so sure when she told me that. Well that does make me feel better.

Also,

The kids and I are going out of town to see my family on Thanksgiving. The W will not go. I told the kids that W was not going and I tried to give an explanation. As I tried to think of what to tell them my S8 said that he knows why and it is "because mom doesn't like you as much as when you got married". I didn't know what to say. I just explained to them that their mother is a great person and that I love her very much. At that point the my S10 started crying and saying that he did not want to talk any more.

It is so hard to try to explain things to the kids. I don't know how much they know or how much I should tell them. They seem to know more than I thought they did. I have to give some sort of explanation. Right?