I'm thinking that if she get's off on acts of service, why not pick something she has been dying to have done around the house, and just do it.
Some things that come to mind (and I know some of them are big things), would be painting the living room, or arranging for someone to come in and do it. Get the carpets or furniture steam cleaned for her. Clean out the garage and offer a portion of it for her use. What about taking her car out and getting it detailed? You could also include a romantic evening of movies and popcorn (chick flicks of course!). I'm trying to think of things I would love!!!
Does she have any hobbies? I'm thinking a gift cert. for some of the supplies she uses for her hobby. How about a girl's night out? Think dinner and movie for her and a couple of close friends, arranged totally by you!
I always want my H to do something 'all the way'. For example, plan an evening where I don't have to do any of the planning or deciding. I don't really care what it is, but I don't want to have to deal with decisions/details.
How about a shopping trip to a nice store she loves but never visits, then dinner and home for a movie? Something else I love is flea markets! H hates them, but once in a while I convince him to go. Perhaps a promise to spend the next Saturday scouring the morning flea markets with her!
I'm really grasping at straws here! Tell us a little more about her... what she is interested in, hobbies... give us something man!
Hairdog, I really like the way you speak of your wife in this post, and the attention you give to the fact that she might receive love differently than you do.
I went and looked at the 5 LL web site to get an idea of what you are talking about. This book does look worthwhile. I guess I'll order yet another book ;->
So your question seems to be, "how can I make acts of service and quality time romantic, so I can enjoy them too"? Is that the right place to focus?
My wife is big on "acts of service" and "words of affirmation", but mainly wants acts of service. For me to feel like I'm giving a gift, it seems to work best if I am creating something lasting and fun, like the giant swing set that I made, which had to be adult size so we can both swing on it and talk, but also gives our 6 year old something to do with the neighbor kids so my wife can concentrate on other things. (It wound up 16 feet tall, but you know how male overexhuberance works). Hmmmm....it's about time we spent time swinging on it again.
I wish I had been able to make the coat racks she wants before she started doing it herself (I was out of town for 3 weeks during the last month, it was a bad time, but I'm also often behind on chores, and she winds up doing more than her share). Coat racks feel like a way of welcoming people into our home, something we both value.
So what would make your house more of a home? Is there anything that lets you serve by creating a better environment for the two of you, or a home that is more welcoming to guests and family?
Well, y'all may not agree with my final choices but here they are: 1. from the "kids" (who am I kidding? I picked it out, paid for it, and put their names on it), a gift certificate to a nursery/landscaping company.
2. From me, a new not-particularly-sexy summery nightgown, similar to one she already has and likes. Oh, and 5 pairs of panties...hey, they had a 5 for $20 sale. I bought 4 pairs of the kind she usually wears, and one THONG. She does not own a thong, and probably will be offended. I want to tell her that the birthday present I am giving her represents my hope that she can begin to reclaim her sensuality. I will tell her that if she wears this to work, under a normal business suit, it will give her a sense of sexy confidence. Hell, it's worth a shot, right? It's not like I'm asking for or expecting sex. Sheeya, right?
The nursery coupon and the not-so-sexy nightgown sound like presents that are for her. The thong ... is a present that is clearly for you, not for her. I wonder if you might give that on a different occasion, so that her birthday presents won't make demands on her?
If it's any concession to you...don't worry about the thong thing. I've seen lots of women never want to go back to normal underwear because the simplicity and lack of fabric in them. They say "if I'm already going to get a wedgie, I might as well have less fabric". Once they get used to wearing them, they typically stick with it. My W has been wearing them before we were married after I bought her a couple pair for a gift. It's getting to be a more of the norm that women wear them and it's no indication of their sexuality...case in point..my LDW. I would buy her a couple "daily wear" versions of it and then one "naughty" one. Then remove the fuse from the washing machine so she runs out of underwear and has to do the thongs. The heart-stopping novelty of seeing your spouse in them will wear off but it is still sexy and good for the imagination...not sure why. If my LDW went back to the grannies, I would have lost hope completely. I would have assumed that she was becoming prudish and that would be a disaster. It really does make any ass, regardless of size look great. Good luck.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
I would love my wife to wear thongs. But she wears the darn granny panties. WHy do women as the get older like her, forget how to be sexy? Why do they dress like OLD WOMEN?
Hey CeMar... My wife doesn't wear grannies (which I think of as the high-rise, white panties that come up to the navel), but she doesn't have anything particularly sexy. I have told her that most of the dresses and suits she has bought in the past 4 years are "dowdy" but she doesn't seem to care.
I'm going to give her the thong, and explain why. I mean, what's she going to do, cut me off?
Hairdog, who's taking off from work early, to go home and bake his wife a birthday cake from scratch.
