Crap! Well, she's already seen them. I left them out on the nightstand after I went to bed last night and she was still out. What do I do now? She asked me about them this morning and I told her that I'll do anything to save this marriage. She did agree to read Divorce Remedy ( well, she said she'd look it over) and I thought that was a good thing, now I'm not so sure. On a side note, I talked to a friend today that had talked to her ysterday and I asked him if he sensed any hope, and he said yes, it is slim however, and I said that slim is better than none.
She told me again that she doesn't know who I am now, I didn't respond, but I for the first time in my life believe that the real me is coming forward, and the real me is a nice person with a lot of love to give, I just hope she's one day willing to be the recipient.
"Anyone who is among the living, has hope." (Eccl 9:4)
Truth be told, no matter what we do at this point, will be viewed with skepticism. They will wonder and ask themselves, why did he not act this before? And if she reads DR, maybe this is a good thing. She may realize how important the M is.
Thank you for the advice DBB. I know for a fact that this is exactly what my wife is thinking. She keeps saying " I don't know who you are anymore", and all I can say is that I am finally finding out myself "who I am" and that I'm actually a pretty damned nice guy with lotsa love to give, I just didn't know how to do it before. I haven't told her this yet.
"Anyone who is among the living, has hope." (Eccl 9:4)
like your quote! there are good signs in your sitch, too- Wouldn't worry about W reading the books- what matters is keeping up the "new you", which W is definitely noticing. "Don't know who you are anymore" is an indicator that she is seeing your changes, and that's great! Remember, that WAS's will not know what's going on- but will slowly come around based on you changing your behaviors towards them. Key is not to focus on W's words(like D talk or bomb comments) and instead to focus on what you are going to do to save your M. Believe in yourself, and let that hope carry you through. You're on the road!
Master the self-fulfilling prophecy.. Act 'as if' it's going to happen and make it be!!
My W has her 1st therapy session today, Im a little nervous about it. I pray daily that God open her heart to me again. I went today and got a prescription for Xanax because I've been having heart palpatations. I really hope this therapist tries to help keep our family together, he knows how I feel about the sitch.
I also taked to my sis-in-law today, she said my W told her that she is "confused" right now, I would like to take that as a good sign since last week she was adamant about getting a D. I aslo started reading DB, pretty good stuff.
Last edited by LoneStarFree; 03/29/0410:23 PM.
"Anyone who is among the living, has hope." (Eccl 9:4)
Quote: focus on what you are going to do to save your M.
LS,
This is the irony, the contradiction. Where we understand and are realizing what we can do to improve the M, they are walking away. They have made decisions without us. And now, we have to make ourselves and our relationships with everyboday better.
Hang in and the tough one (for me), have NO expectations.
Okay, so now I"M the one thats confused. My W had her 1st therapy sessions on Monday, later that night she asks me if I want to meet them at the mall on Tues to take have my lilttle girls take pics with the E.Bunny. I of course said yes. So we meet there, and everything is going well, then we come home and feed my youngest daughter (8mos) and then we gather everyone up and we all go out to eat as a family, it was great, W and I got along great. So we come home, get everyone bathed and all, we get into bed, (of course my 4 year old is still between us) we are sleeping and my W doesn't move fifty feet away when I touch her in my sleep now, i.e. when my feet touch hers, etc..., so this morning she asks me to get something out of her purse and I see some papers with my pension info in it, that she needs for her ATTY in order to file. I was crushed, I was hoping that maybe she is seeing that I can change and I do love her and that maybe D wasn't the answer. Now, I do not know if she has filed yet or not, but why would she have those papers in her purse?
"Anyone who is among the living, has hope." (Eccl 9:4)
My W had her 1st therapy sessions on Monday, later that night she asks me if I want to meet them at the mall on Tues to take have my lilttle girls take pics with the E.Bunny. I of course said yes. So we meet there, and everything is going well, then we come home and feed my youngest daughter (8mos) and then we gather everyone up and we all go out to eat as a family, it was great, W and I got along great. So we come home, get everyone bathed and all, we get into bed, (of course my 4 year old is still between us) we are sleeping and my W doesn't move fifty feet away when I touch her in my sleep now, i.e. when my feet touch hers, etc..., so this morning she asks me to get something out of her purse and I see some papers with my pension info in it, that she needs for her ATTY in order to file. I was crushed, I was hoping that maybe she is seeing that I can change and I do love her and that maybe D wasn't the answer. Now, I do not know if she has filed yet or not, but why would she have those papers in her purse?