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Went to a "jewelry party" at H's office hosted by Bubbles. Had a good time, stayed to help her clean up.
H showed me the newly upholstered office chairs and, as I had brought new art prints with me to sell, he wanted to check those out. Another lady at the office asked if I would be selling in any galleries soon. I immediately wondered about that having been a discussion point in the office? Maybe just overthinking.
Gave Bubbles a present to give to a mutual friend who is recovering from surgery (she passes his house on the way home).
As I was leaving, H and I chatted a bit in the parking lot and he told me to be careful as it was icy.
Nothing exciting, but...listened, validated, stayed upbeat. Another positive interaction. And I was very social. Getting better day by day, time by time.

Hi Cil

looks like yr learning fast....

How about adding to the mix.....eye contact? did you look a million dollars, wear his favourite perfume, new sexy boots? men are visual it all helps

Good look and remember DB is forever!

Heck yes, there's eye contact! And smiles and fave perfume and great outfit and sexy black boots and...da#n. I Iooked good. Even rocked my curly hair by wearing it down loose (he used to love that).

Go Girl! I've got high hopes for you

Keep us posted.

You are doing great. Keep it up my friend :-)

Any news Cil? Or are u under 3ft of snow

Lucky for me, the majority of the snow is staying in the mountains here. I really don't envy those on the boards who are dealing with it on the other side of the country, right now! I feel ya, peeps!

Nothing major to report on my sitch.

Had to call H to give him a phone # and message from our insurance agent. I prefer to call in some instances rather than text. Texts are sometimes read "wrong" due to the reader's feelings because the sender's tone and vocal expression are not present. Since it had to do with our vacation property and H believes that is a sore subject for me, I felt he needed to hear my friendly upbeat tone...not the one he would likely imagine.

Anyway, also texted H the next day asking if he'd heard from D23. She has been fighting some major issues and tends to "go underground" when things get bad. No conversation, just a short reply on his part. I did get a hold of her and had a good talk. Spoke to her again yesterday and I believe I have convinced her to go skiing after church with me today. She is a great skier/snowboarder and it will be her first time up this year due to her work schedule. Looking forward to having some time out of the house to have fun. Maybe get a little vitamin D and endorphins flowing will help both of us.

I also have been struggling not to lean on my older D25 so much. She keeps bringing up conversations she has with H; not about our R. But I often then end up asking questions or even asking if H asks or talks about me. I am trying very hard to avoid this and have asked her not to bring him up unless it is really important.

I will continue trying to not contact H unless necessary, but I still get into a funk and start obsessively overthinking about him after any contact. This weekend has been very hard because I have a commissioned painting to finish and so I had to spend a lot of time alone. That's when I start worrying about future things (our birthdays and anniversary are coming up and occur in a 17 day span) and H.

I have so many questions to ask him, so many things I've learned and want to show him or share. But I can't. He doesn't trust me yet to not go back to my old ways of attempting to control. I guess I don't fully trust myself, either.

The DB path actually seems to work well, if I can just be patient and let him think things out on his own...one way or another limbo will eventually end. I see good results when I stick to the DB plan. Then I question what I've seen, overthink it and get depressed. But the fact is, as MWD has written, I have to notice the small improvements in his interactions with me. And they ARE there.

As has been said by many posters before, detaching is hard. I need patience and strength.

You are doing well C. It's not an easy road.

This quote shows me where you have room to GAL. With your gift of time, who can you meet or grow closer with that you can start sharing more of your life and journey with?

I see small improvements in your interactions too Ciluzen. Do you write them down to remind yourself when you're feeling despondent!? I haven't done so this time round yet but I did last time and I found it helped me to remember them and not lose my cool. I think you are doing brilliantly and wish I could be as strong as you!

I am growing closer to a few people that I have reached out to and we try to do something every couple of weeks. I'm fairly open with a few of them because they seem to care, listen well and give excellent suggestions for me to help me.

My GAL activities are actually getting more comfortable. I particularly enjoy one of my meetup groups. Right now we've gone to movies and started a book club, but when our little world thaws out there will be more outdoor activities. I can't wait to get back into hiking!