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Mowgli

Spoke with lawyer and she was very blunt that any A in my situation isn't going to move the needle. She said for my own state of mind if I wanted to dig deeper go for it but it won't change my sitch

JUST got an email from her that was BRUTAL "I can't live like this with you after this past weekend (snowed in) and you either have to move out or I am being forced to move out and take our D".

Threats.....nice. Forwarded to my L Ugh Making me vomit

Rich,

Glad you have the answer and glad you're just redirecting the spew to the L. That's what needs to happen and that's what you pay her for!!

Remember that you can't control her actions. We have to make ourselves happy first and foremost and if she's not happy, that's not directly your fault.

Same thing applies to you: make yourself happy first, and positive things will follow!!

Its been a horrible AM

She is asking me to get out and threatening getting a place on her own and taking the daughter.

I am not going to just fold to her threats. I have to have my L engage & help me navigate.

Yes, if she wants to leave, she can do that, but don't let her take D.

Let the L handle it!! Hang in there, man!!

Rich,

Breath. Do not reply to her threats. Nothing you say will satisfy her.

Like Mowgli has said, utilize your L. She cannot simply just pick up and leave with your D. Do your best to keep your cool.

Trying my fellow DBers...trying

I am just keeping my cool and not really responding much to the emails and now she wants to discuss custody tonight too since i am "forcing her" to move out

I have a call with my L today. I am not going anywhere for now without legal advice

What a day.

Rich4j,

Dude, you need to realize that the woman you're talking to is no longer the woman you married. Literally an evil alien has inhabited her body - she looks the same, but has been possessed.
Truly, that is what happened to my wife. Sounds like you're struggling with that.

In my situation, my W was/is spewing to cover her own affair, her own sin. D is the answer, since being with you reminds her of what she is doing.

Was your wife a very loyal wife, did she talk about other people cheating on their spouses, what did she say? My wife was always the very loyal sort. She liked to have a good time, but inside, when we married, when we've had our deepest discussions, it was always a 'good girl' who was scared of what might happen. That has tremendous integrity.

Then her brain fell out of her head.

If you ready my last post, someone might have picked her brain up and gave it back to her. We'll see.

I just know I've been in your place. It really is tough. You need to find ways to cope - go for walks, find a counselor, talk to your closest friends, etc. It sounds like you really care. That's good, but right now, you caring would be putting gas on the fire.

Call the lawyer. Protect yourself. But just realize anytime you converse with your wife you are most likely putting gas on the fire. The less you converse with her, the less likely the fire will grow.

Loyal wife...from though a cheating family with dad/brother

Regardless if there is a secret A, I am past that now and don't really care.

She just let me know the divorce complain will be coming this week so I need to decide if I stay and they go our not. I am so upset and can't focus on anything

I know its over but wanted to do this the right way for my D but she is way off now.

Do the material things really matter? When you are with someone that you care about, I would be willing to give everything up to get that person back. Everyone starts with nothing when they get older and graduate. What makes any of our sitches any different? Make yourself happy and the successes will come to you.

there is no reason you should leave. She can not just take your D either. Get a L involved and let them do the work. Seriously.

You can humor her and let her talk to you, but if she even mentions less than 50/50 just stop her there and tell her you do not feel that is fair. If she fights you then be done and let the L work

It is now a business transaction.