Inpain. I feel your pain on them not seeing the kids but finding time to do what they want. And also on feeling like if you've blown it. It sux. Sux so bad. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time of it. I hear it gets better (easier) in time.
(((inpain)))
Rain
Rain (moi): 40 Ex Fiance: 39 3 kids On/off again EA & PA Last BD by ow 12/15 Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
Don't believe for a minute you blew it. Remember all the emotions you are going through is for you not him. It's for you to get through this. The ups and downs...the anger towards him... The missing him... Feeling sorry for him...then the anger again ... Eventually these emotions get less and less and you see things differently.
I too said things to my wife I later regretted. Thinking I made it worse. At this point anything you say or do won't phase him . They hear what they want.
It's good he stuck around but the way he did it was like a sulky teen. He told his friend he couldnt go out then he buried himself in front of his laptop.
Glad you shared your feelings. Hugs to you xox
Irish
M51 XW43 (38 at bd) BD1 MAY 30 2015 BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text moved out Aug 2 2015 left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20) Her divorce Final July 26 2016 Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
Inpain. I feel your pain on them not seeing the kids but finding time to do what they want. And also on feeling like if you've blown it. It sux. Sux so bad. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time of it. I hear it gets better (easier) in time.
(((inpain)))
Rain
Hi Rain, thanks for the hugs. Let's hope it does get better/easier in time - don't feel I can carry on with this amount of stress and pain for much longer. Feels like I'm being buried alive or something.
Hi Irish, thank you. I suppose it depends what I'm fighting for on whether or not I blew it. The only outcome I truthfully want is to reconcile with H. Yes, I know we're all supposed to be changing ourselves into better people here and I am and will either way. But I don't want to end up with just 'I'm a better person', I want to end up with 'I'm a better person and H loves me again'.
Originally Posted By: IrishM
Remember all the emotions you are going through is for you not him. It's for you to get through this. The ups and downs...the anger towards him... The missing him... Feeling sorry for him...then the anger again ... Eventually these emotions get less and less and you see things differently.
Seeing things differently scares me too right now. Differently how? I don't want any of this to happen and I don't want to feel differently towards my H. Would sure love for him to feel differently towards me though
Originally Posted By: IrishM
I too said things to my wife I later regretted. Thinking I made it worse. At this point anything you say or do won't phase him . They hear what they want.
Well that's good news then, because I think I pretty much said everything I've been thinking and feeling for weeks to him on Sunday!
Originally Posted By: IrishM
It's good he stuck around but the way he did it was like a sulky teen. He told his friend he couldnt go out then he buried himself in front of his laptop.
Yes, he didn't even interact with D7 at all except when she had some lunch. She wasn't remotely interested in him being here and neither was S11. S11 comments every time H goes, "Well, that was a waste of time, Daddy doesn't do anything with us when he comes round, just sits there, what's the point?" Smart kid!
So just now H has text to say he was thinking of taking the kids out for tea tomorrow night. I text back, OK, they'll love that. He then instantly texts back asking if I want to go too! What!?!?!? Yet another mind bend!
I think I have seen another situation like yours here. The lady went but later regretted it as she felt she had had expectation to R but nothing happened. I'd personally thank him but turned down his invitation as I'd not want to have too much hope and being shattered again. Use this time to do something for yourself.
I know what you're saying Rouky! I've already been on other meals out thinking that at least it would be a chance to show the new and improved me. And, of course, there is always that little spark of hope that it ignites when he asks me to come along. It could just be his conscience. It could be that he wants to see how we get on, or it could be none of those. Just don't know what to do for the best. Want to be strong enough to say no but then want the hope of it being a baby step
Yes, I suppose I could sleep on it, it is quite late here so for all he knows I could have fallen asleep and not seen the text asking me if I want to go too. I will see him in the morning anyway, he is coming to take D to school. Really not looking forward to that after everything that has happened the last few days - it always puts me on edge for work when he comes in the mornings. It's like he just sits there watching us all dashing about, getting ready
