Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again Last night was a good night.

Lone what wonderful self actualization.

you said:

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My therapist says it's because I was so afraid she was going to leave me that I held on to tight and tried to control her, so I basically made happen just what I was trying to avoid.

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Almost ALL OF US on this BB could have said the very same thing about ourselves. Personally, I tried so hard to protect myself (from my eventual self fulfilling prophecy of being abandoned emotinonally/physically) that I put up a false front of tremendous independance from my H. While I was unwittingly acting indifferent to my H and taking his commitment to our M...'for better or worse' for granted...he found someone that had NO problem showing him that he was special...and so...I wound up here.

I've learned a great deal about myself and my H (since June of 2002) and as painful as the lessons have been, there's a part of me that's grateful for them because no matter what...today I am a better person to MYSELF than I have ever been. And, as a result, I will become a better partner in this or any future relationship I might have.
T2

T2, I feel the same way, thats is...no matter what happens between my W and I, I will come out of this a better person and someone will be getting a damn GOOD man. I had another good night with my W last night. She bought our 8 mos old daughter an Easter dress, and she asked my opinion of what I thought it looked like on her, and instead of replying " I don't know Jen, I'm not a fashion consultant", I told her honestly what I thought of it and I could see that she appreciated my comments and that in turn made ME feel good. I cannot believe how stupid I have been sometimes.

Lone,

A man, like YOU, who see's his short comings and the failures of his character and chooses to become a better man and does so, is worth his weight in gold.

You aren't just becoming the man your wife wishes you had always been, you're becoming a man that your daughter can look to as the model of a man she will want for HER future husband. We are the people our children will become, so your change is a blessing to your dear daughter.
T2

Thanks T2, your words offer me comfort. I was/am having a "down" moment right now due to a convo I had with the W today. I appreciate your kind words.

((((((Lone)))))

These ups and downs are brutal. Breathe deeply, and when you are ready, come here to rant. We may even be able to be constructive

Thanks, Slowly. I am very happy that I found this board, in the couple of days since I registered, I have already learned a great deal by surfing the various topics, and from reading and heeding the advice and wisdom that comes from here. I hope to have good news one day and not so much negetive stuff to post.

(((Dustin)))