I can say everything I do is with little expectation. But I do want her to remember me. I don't even know when/if I'll hear from W after I move out. Our last interaction was as we passed each other on our street and had a brief conversation from our cars.
There was so much tenderness in our not so distant past interactions. I'm still so confused by all this. She is hurting and so am I, and knowing that keeps my heart attached to her. Who am I kidding? I'd be attached anyway. Knowing she's hurting makes me THINK she cares about me. But I wouldn't be surprised to see her laughing and smiling in the near future. If she's w OW, it will tear my heart out. I know many of you out there have already faced this, and have seen smiling photos of your spouse and OP on Facebook or whatever.
Is it so wrong to want them to miss us? Is it so wrong to want them back?
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I want to keep my dignity and keep the road home clear, if she should turn in my direction.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I can say everything I do is with little expectation. Remember - no expectations either way. Dont expect her to react with "nothing" but dont expect her to react with "happiness" either. Make your decision on what to do detached from the outcome.
But I do want her to remember me. Do you really think she wont remember you? And do you think by making her coffee on your way out the door that it will change her memory of you?
Of course she will remember you. But the question is what will her memories be?
I don't even know when/if I'll hear from W after I move out. Yep. Who knows?
Our last interaction was as we passed each other on our street and had a brief conversation from our cars.
There was so much tenderness in our not so distant past interactions. Yep. I was sexually intimate with XW right up until BD. If anything, it was increasing! But could that be her trying to rekindle something? OM filling other needs that I wasnt? A full moon? Who knows.
I'm still so confused by all this. She is hurting and so am I, and knowing that keeps my heart attached to her. Of course she's hurting. But you arent the one that can fix that. Only she can.
Who am I kidding? I'd be attached anyway. Knowing she's hurting makes me THINK she cares about me. Of course she CARES about you. That doesnt mean she wants to be with you though. At least not right now. Thats what the TIME is for.
But I wouldn't be surprised to see her laughing and smiling in the near future. Yeah, shes ending a 10 year relationship for a doomed AP. Shes gotta try to make this new thing work somehow to justify it to herself that shes happy, right? Smiles and laughing dont always mean happiness.
If she's w OW, it will tear my heart out. I know many of you out there have already faced this, and have seen smiling photos of your spouse and OP on Facebook or whatever. I really hope you arent still watching her posts on FB! Time to at minimum hide her posts!
Is it so wrong to want them to miss us? Is it so wrong to want them back? Absolutely not. I know that you have so many urges to do SOMETHING. But most of the time, doing nothing is the best thing that you can do for your relationship. Thats why I lean against the coffee. Why show her that youre still thre for her - shes off sleeping/living with another person and you are still at home doing little favors for her.
Thats why I said you should read DifRent's threads - I remember she would light certain candles for a few hours or bake cookies while her partner was off with OW so that when she came home, the house would smell like 'home' and she would be reminded of what its like to be in a relationship with Dif. Honestly, that kind of stuff means so little in the grand scheme of things, that the only thing doing it really accomplishes is to keep you attached.
I'm leaving dirty sheets. They're only dirty on my side. And maybe a little perfume on my pillow. Take that, OW!
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Help. Packing my stuff for real, feeling so alone. Even packing shoes brings memories. Friends are all at work. Panicky. Why did this have to happen?? Help.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
It's just so difficult. I'm putting my clothes in the car, and it's the first thing that feels like me leaving my home. Thanks for your encouragement Azzork and inpain. I know this all isn't easy for any of us.
I want to have hope, but why is she making me move everything out? I don't understand. Why is she so DONE with me??????
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I want to have hope, but why is she making me move everything out? I don't understand. Why is she so DONE with me??????
Because right now she is in the A fog and the only person she cares about is me, me, me! I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I cannot imagine having to move out of my home. I'm hoping against hope that I don't have to. She's also probably making you move everything out because having things of yours around would remind her of you and that would prick her conscience and give her a guilt trip, and she doesn't want guilt trips, she wants to believe that this is all happy, happy, happy and painless for all - it's easier for her that way! (((((NYGal)))))
