Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers My new thread 1

Also last time I was alone after first D I got myself into huge financial trouble and it ended in me going through bankruptcy. Something that W helped and dealt with ( part of her resentment). And I let her handle it all without really learning how to do things. Not as big of a fear because I know I can go to people to help me out taking care of finances. The memory of that Sh** storm is still in te back if my head tho

I get this. Its a transition. But, there are other ways you can fill this in into your life.

- How about GAL? Are you out meeting new people?
- How about your kids? Any way to better interact with them?
- How about your family? Are you close? Can you get closer?
- How about you? Are you taking up new hobbies or activities you can do to occupy your head?

Yes. I am GAL I go out to vball every Tuesday. Also have similar career focused people at school now I am getting to know

My kids. I talk to them every other night( older 2) and see them as much as possible. Will be the same with little ones. I try and plan outings and things we can do when I do have them with me

My family... That is a tough one. My parents have put a lot of stress on my marriage with their choices on how to communicate with us and what they feel is right without respecting is as the parents of the children. To the point they told me that they don't consider W to be the parent of the older 2 as she is step parent and she could never love them like the 2 we had together. They made plans to take the older 2 camping this summer and told me alone about it after all the plans had been made with my ex wife. They also lied to ex and said they had talked to me about it. I was only told about the trip when it was planned and a done deal as they felt it was the only way they would be able to do it. It's not that I would have said no but they went behind my and W back to make the plans and when I confronted them about how I felt they handled it wrong I was pretty much told they thought they did nothing wrong. It's difficult for me to respect them after the disrespect they showed me and my marriage.

And ya. I am finding new things to do. Reconnecting with old friends making plans to go out with groups of friends. Stuff that was put on the back burner not because of R but my video game addiction. I would come home eat and sit at computer. That is the first thing I cut from my life and it is 100% better because of it

Hey Tyler,

You would think going through something as big a bankruptcy would have made your MR stronger.

Should have. If I was involved more than just signing my name to papers. I sat back and let her handle the paperwork and finances. Never asked her to do it. Just sat back and expected her to do it. It was a huge issue with us. Was I just expected her to handle my baggage. It grew resentment for me.
I recognize my short comings in the M and am working still in remedying my attitude towards everything because I have to step up for my kids and myself

I have t been able to start my DB book yet. But I'm curious if there is a point when DB ing that you can't stomach being in the same room as S and you feel nothing but anger with ten being around? I don't know what it is tonight but I'm at the point where I can't be around her

Tyler,

It's common. The hurt turns into anger.

Can you go somewhere for a while? Take a walk? Go out and pick up grocieries?

I went for a coffee last week when things got tense.

No I'm watching the kids.
When she got home tonight she said she was going out for a beer later. I said that's fine.
Then she had to shower cause she was cold and spent 30 minutes getting ready while I made supper.
I said boy must be a big date. Because I knew OM must be making the 2 hour drive to come here or someone is.
She hasn't put that f ing phone down all night. And I am so done. I have asked her not constantly but a few times to stop with the phone crap

She doesn't care at all. Zero respect for me. Zero concern. zero care at all about anyone but herself and I'm sick of it
She moves out in 3 days. And being self centred. She picks of all days a day when the older 2 kids are here. So all 4 can watch her pack up and go.
I'm at the point now where I don't want anything from her let alone to talk to her or see her.
There is lots of comments on here about how they are not the same person you met and married. Well I'm not entirely sure about that. The only difference now is she doesn't care about anyone but herself. And that is not the type of person I want to be with

I feel your pain and resentment. Sometimes I just want to throw my W's phone and iPad across the room. Don't know if your W is talking or texting. My W texts only. I can see the anticipation of the om response in her face and body language. I think it would be harder if she was talking to om on the phone instead of texting.

Hang in there.

I'm trying. It doesn't really even hurt anymore. it just makes me mad now.

On the plus side once S3 is asleep it's peace and quiet to do homework and start reading DR!