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I only show my XW contentment. That doesn't mean I'm always happy when I see her.

I assume she is putting on the same show.

Sorry to hear we are in the same boat Nate. I am reading up on an older thread and "Thornton" left this as a reply to t0324...

Hope it helps you somehow.

"My Exwife regrets divorcing me to this day. When she left, she had a field day, bought a house, dated, lived it up.

One day after the divorce she called me freaking out. She had found out I started dating again and had let her go. For months she cried and begged. She even told me she considered suicide.

Trust me, the roads these Walk always take isn't always rosy."
_________________________
Me: 38
Her: 38
D (Mine): 14
D (Hers): 7
T: 3.5 years
Bomb: 5/10/2014
She left: 5/10/2014
She's back: 7/7/2014

Hey Azzork. How's your night going? I guess when you look at it like that he isn't necessarily sitting pretty. It sure does seem like it from my point of view.

He gets the care free life. No parenting responsibilities, no worries, foot loose and fancy free. He can date and go out whenever he wants. No having to arrange child care. He thinks the kids are fine.

Im left to deal with them acting out and crying. Im left to care for them alone while I try to get through each hour with a heavy heart.

I'm happy to know you only show your XW contentment. I would Love to be at that point mentally and emotionally.

He is meant to come by tomorrow and drop off money and I'm trying to prepare myself so as not to be a crying heap.

The insanity of it all.

He also doesn't get to walk in their room at night and watch them sleeping.

He doesn't get to hear them say they love him.

He doesn't get to sneak in their room to be the tooth fairy.

He doesn't get to watch them grow up.

You only get one chance with your kids. I wouldn't trade my time with them for anything. Even when they're being tremendous brats and fighting about who gets to use the sink to brush teeth first.

Helloooo everyone knows the oldest gets to brush their teeth first.....or is it the youngest?

And the tooth fairy is real. My mom said so.

And thank you yet again. You're right. He doesn't get to do all of those things with them but I do. And he is missing out on things he can never recreate.

Thank you.

And trust me. When they are older, they will know what happened between you two. They will know who was there for them and who wasn't.

The bonds you create now will last their lifetime.

Be proud of your work. You should be.

Thanks. I really appreciate you checking in on me and my situation.

I feel like I let what he does and says or doesn't, sidetrack me. That is not how I want to keep living my life. Not anymore. I have to detach and GAL.

Hi Rain, it's been awhile. I just caught up on your sitch again. It sounds like you are doing relatively well overall with staying on track and working on yourself. I am only just now finally figuring out how to let go and start to detach. My W is temperature checking and I'm finding it hard not to take the bait and slip backwards. Much of your sitch and the advice you have been given is helping me gain perspective too. I can see how it's true... successful DBing is all about how we come out of this better people. It has much less to do with the end result of whether or not the M is saved. Catching up on your thread just helped me to see that even more clearly.

All the best to you and your kids, Rain. Proud of you!

Azzork is right... it seems like he is living it up and got the better deal, but he is losing so much more in the end. These are precious years with his children that will never be gotten back. Someday he is going to be sorry for every moment he willingly threw away, while you will have been there every step of the way. He is to be pitied...not envied.

Rain, I feel so much like you. I'm sad, feeling lonely that he is having a good time, no responsibility, no club dropping, no tantrum etc...

What keeps me going is that I'm keeping hope that one day ( maybe not now but in a couple of years), i'll be a better me and in a better R.

Take care and hang in there