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Caliguy and Mona, those are very inspiring suggestions. I am going to have to write those lists and scrub my kitchen sink every night.

Mu - neighbor, how are you? Promise you will write the lists too.

Thanks Mu. It was very similar here. My sitch changed drastically a few minutes after I posted to you earlier today. Every man has his limits and I hit mine.
I wish you all the best and I'll check in when I can.
Be well.

Here is my list.

List A... 10 things you like about yourself.
Changing & Growing
Honest & Loyal
Determined & Decisive
Considerate & Caring
Supportive parent
Sense of humor
Reliable
Courageous
Reflective & Sentimental
Quick Accurate estimator of time and processes


List B ... 10 things that you don't like, things you want to change.
Anxious
Frustration
Annoyed
Impatient
Sarcastic
Half Listen
Let frustration build up then rage
Hate being held back by others
Accusatory speech
Yell when angry


List C... 10 things you admire in other men, men you respect and look up to.
Assertive
Confident
Calm
Self confidence
Self esteem
Empathetic
Compassionate
Validate
Caring
Listening

Great lists, but I feel like you already possess some of the characteristics from list C.

I do some of those traits but since they are newly acuired I don't trust them to be authentic. I am a hard grader on myself because I know the truth. Maybe that's why I am hard on myself in general.

For some reason I can no longer edit posts. I don't know why

That should have said work not wren!

V

I have been meaning to mention this but keep forgetting. In IC it was suggested that my wife is choosing not to respond to my "good morning" or "hi" when she gets home because she does not want to give me the dialog I want. She is withholding these simple civil responses to me because of her anger and resentment for me. Using her modus operandi of passive aggressive behavior to punish me.

It maybe that she just does not want to talk to me but it seems like more. Could it be that the wall must be maintained for other reasons?

Just plain childish cussidness and a good old fashioned sulk.

Take the higher ground keep saying hi.

Bright and breezy.....

If she asks, just say "thought you had had a bad day so felt a little sad it was that way"

Then if you get more back

"OK, and validate"

V

Are there men in your life that encompass list C?


Are you setting too high a target?

V

I am capable of great things, I can be whatever I wish. I have time and patience. I love myself and have the love of others. I want to move forward and eventually reach my goal knowing imperfection is perfection.