I did see a solitary heron fly by following the river north. Does your sister walk the gorge?
Walking this new path alone was unsettling. I kept thinking this is what life will now be like. Alone in uncharted territory. I was also thinking I love nature, I'm going to the mountains.
It was a nice walk, maybe a little to real
Mutatio, its not uncharted territory, I've been there before you a hundred times! You are not as alone as you think, there are so many of us in the same situation. Got my brand new first day driving it mini-van (first car I ever bought new) stuck on that trail because I missed the parking lot and drove up ONTO the trail and then had to back out and it was so narrow and had big muddy potholes and I am not very skilled at driving in reverse and I was pregnant and had a 2 year old with me and I was so scared, lol.
I promise you it is safe. Well except for the bears. LOL. My sister will only go with me because of the bears. She was on the trail once and ran into another hiker who had just seen one so that was the end of hiking for her. That whole area is filled with beautiful spots to hike, I really miss it.
Fo, Thank you for making me smile. I wrote "Alone in uncharted territory" to mean my possible life as a divorced man. That I was walking down this new path, both the walk and my possible future life.
I checked my thread when I got to the parking spot to see if you saw my post and you did. I have been so upset since my conversation with my wife that when I read your response I started crying. The two guys putting on their fishing gear in the next car were looking at me. It just felt good to know I had a friend out there that actually cared for me.
Oh Mutatio, you have so many friends "out there". So many of us are uplifted and inspired by your gentle, caring nature - by your willingness to stop in our threads and add your authentic words of support. You are a treasure to us here.
I wish your W could see the same. Sometimes, when you're in the middle of a situation, it's just too hard to take a step out and look at it from another point of view. (I'm referring to your W.) I think the best shot you've got, is going to be getting to a point of detachment. The point that you know you will be fine, no matter how your situation goes.
I believe you're heading in the right direction. You've admitted the possibility that it may not work out the way you hope, and you're taking steps to be okay with the possibility. From everything I've learned since I've been here, posting and sharing with others, that is KEY to many situations turning around. Some may just be unsalvageable, for now. Who knows what the future may bring?
I believe in you M. I believe you are a man of worth. I believe losing you as an H would be the greatest folly your W could ever make. She may be too stubborn to see it right now. You are always there, ready and waiting, silently and patiently. I foresee true panic on her part if that ever starts to change.
I could be wrong. There are many WAS who do leave the best thing they ever had. You are doing everything you can to salvage the R, but it may not work out. I truly believe you will be fine if that's the way it turns out. Heartbroken, like me...but fine. A strong, good man who did everything he could to keep his family together. I have so much respect for you for that alone.
I have even more respect for you for the thought you've put into things, for the changes you've made to become better, stronger - I think you are one in a million.
You have a fan club here. I'm not sure you realize that. You are never alone, really. We may be "virtual friends", but it is a real friendship, nonetheless. It is a friendship that strengthens both ways. Support in what has to be one of the hardest things to ever go through.
I can never thank you enough for the time you've taken to share your thoughts with me - the stories and parables you've taken the time to write out on my thread to keep me sane, and on a path which moves forward. You're a treasure, M.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Mu, I know that's what you meant, I meant that this territory is not as uncharted as you think, there are a lot of us charting it together. Separately, together.
