Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Ksanti

2ltl2lt, do you have your own thread?

Sorry to hear that you lost a friend mu. I had a coworker lose his battle with cancer yesterday at the age of 41.

It does, however, make me think that tomorrow isn't promised. Live the way you want to, as today may be your last day. Be well mu!

Thanks dday, we're on the same page. That's how I feel. She was not healthy and now she's at peace.

It does seem that a lot of the time we are walking the same path. I try to follow your lead on the kindness you are showing. You are a great man mu, hope things improve for you very soon!

My thread is called Wire Checked out(2) I haven't posted in a couple days so it fell back a few pages.

I am so sorry for your loss Mutatio. Very sad.

So sorry about your friend, Mu.

Well I did it. I went and had a discussion with my wife about our marriage. I had not talked with her about it in at all for 6 months. The up shot of it is that she is not interested in have a relationship with me. She does not see herself spending the rest of her live with me. She is not interested in sharing feelings with me. She has not made plans or a decision about ending the marriage. She will go places with the kids and me for the family but has no interest in doing anything with me. After a while she admitted to still harboring anger and resentment towards me for being an a$$hole for 15 years of our marriage. She admitted that maybe she really hadn't forgiven me. She said she stays in her room because she feels safe there. The last thing she said was that she can't make it any clearer, she does not want to have a relationship with me. She reaffirmed our agreement to not cheat on each other.

So please respond truthfully, I know it sounds bad but am I dead yet? I would love to hear opinions from women that are married to husbands who acted like an a$$holes, if there are any of you out there. I could use some attention now, it hurts looking in her eyes and hearing those words.

All because I was an a$$hole to her and the kids for 15 years, is there a way to make this right?

Mutatio,

I am sorry that the conversation with you W had her reaffirming her position for the status quo.

A vet really needs to chime in here for sure.

Personally I think there is some room to move here. I have thought for sometime that under all W silence, she is quietly seething with anger. Personally I think that this anger needs to be expelled by her before there can be any shift. Her having a being spew needs to happen.

While it likely will be no fun on your end, there can be no coming together until this anger and resentment is out in the open. Then some move towards healing needs to happen.

I am interested Mutatio, how did this conversation come about?

Another thing that interests me, is how W sees this housing sitch working for the next two years.

Ok so she doesn't want a relationship with you, yip no worries. But why not appear happier and more at ease in her own life and company. Why not just move out and on?

Personally W behaviour is confused she wants the best of all worlds and committing to none. She appears to be very unhappy.

I also see her punishing you, rather than her moving forward for a new life for herself.

W is very confused in my opinion and has no idea what she wants. I think she is likely in a lot of pain.

I hope some wise vets come by and offer your support and guidance.

In the meantime maintain your status quo.

Much love Mutatio

JellyBxxx