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Shotgun none of those men will be as hot as you, so rest assured I won't do anything silly. You are one of a kind and don't want to lose you :-)

Okay you two...mind your manners.

Rouky, that sounded like a lovely time. Strange how many times I read it on these BB how when a LBS drops the rope or like you simply has no expectations that the WAS or WS gets a certain "spidey" sense and moves closer.

Good on you for being able to have fun with the kids and your awesome PMA.

You rock!

Rain

Wow, Rouky! I am so impressed. I know, one day, I will master this giant hurt and move forward. It just doesn't really seem possible right now - but I've been reading your thread for a while, so I've seen where you started, and where you are now.

It gives me such hope! You are doing a fantastic job. I envy your peace. I know the only way to get there is to get through, but I really want to be there now...and that isn't happening. I'm still longing for my old life, while being aware that it just will not happen.

I'm going to keep up with DB. Nothing else has proven to be as beneficial or as helpful in keeping me from doing something crazy. And I am the poster child for crazy! LOL (I have to laugh about it, what else can I do?)

Please keep posting - I find it such a comfort, and hope with all my heart that one day I am able to join you in happiness and peace.

TBH I don't think my H is moving closer. The way I see it is that he can't take the girls to OW's house and isn't bothered to take the kids out, so staying in the house is the best option for him. Regarding staying longer, I think it's because he is probably not allowed to go to OW's house before a certain time!

I don't care, what I see is that he is spending a lot of time with the kids ( more than he ever did with his first child), so it's all benefits for my girls. Also I'm not stupid as when D will be filed, I will have not much to hold against him. So I know it's all about looking good in front of the judge later on!

H came to collect kids, Gosh he looked rough and unhappy, but again not my problem.

Other than that, weather is grey here but I have a smile on my face. No kids today so went to town to treat myself, done groceries, gonna take dog for a walk and then a bit of work. I'm so relax. There were places in town where I got triggered but I breathed and said it's out of my control, there is nothing I can do. Move forward Rouky :-)

You sound like you're really making peace with the situation. I'm so happy for you.

This is a healthy attitude Rouky.

^^^^^This is amazing. I am so happy for you to have reached this place.

Rain

Just reporting H dropped kids earlier. Thanks God I was home. As usual walked in. I asked him to swap days next week. He didn't ask why, but told me that the swap will help him to do some work. One of the boundaries I had when I allowed him to stay the first time was to stop working at the weekend. I expressed my surprise about him doing weekend job. His reply was that because of Xmas, he needed the money. That's what happens when you have to buy Xmas present for 3 kids and OW on one wage ( usually Xmas presents from our kids will be coming from joint account!).

I said bye and he said it back cheerfully, but then again he is going back to OW.

The more I look at my situation the better I feel than 10 months ago!

You are contagious, R. Keep up that PMA.

You seem to have had a sudden shift. I'm proud, happy and a little jealous of you.

Rouky

I love reading about how you have been going about your life. I hope you keep posting. Sounds like your doing much better. I hope this will be a great year for you.