Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers dday, rebuilding

That's just what kids who love their dad do. Good on ya (as we say down here...)

She probably doesn't really know. It's probably a question without an answer (or one that could ever be known).

Maybe just get in there and get active doing things, and then you will discover where your passion is.

This time of year can be depressing for a lot of people. Some weather or seasons affect people in different ways. I think we just have to prepare, if we know in advance how it's going to affect us, and have something planned that will help our spirit get through it.

Thanks all.

Sandi, I believe you are on to something. I know I loved playing basketball, and the dads are talking about joining a 30+ league. That will bring joy to my lonely sunday afternoons. It's a little thing, but a fun one in many ways.

I have always wanted to try backpacking. May be time to get in shape for that. Hopefully start building my own house this spring. I know it will take a ton of time and energy, but that is really what I need now. Something constructive to pour myself into.

Just some thoughts...

Hi Dday, I think your post above is spot on - time to pour yourself into some new things - things that will benefit you (sun pm basketball) and you and your kids - building a new house. What you focus on grows. You've been focusing on your R recently and your hopes of saving it. But that's not within your control just now. So, best to grow some other stuff and focus on new and positive things in your life. That doesn't mean entirely closing the door. If anything changes in terms of your R, you can always pause and reconsider - just forge ahead with your own life now...

Take care xx

D - I love your new plans! They sound exciting and fun. I'm going to support you 100% in moving forward on them. Keeping busy is going to keep your mind off W, and it will make you so much more interesting.

That fact that you've quit waiting on her? A bonus. Trust me, she will notice. What she decides to do about it, is up to her.

Move onward, little brother! I am so proud of you.

What kind of house are you going to build? Since my kids are much older, I have been thinking about relocating if my wife chooses a life without me. If I move, I'll end up designing my own place. At the moment I fancy a large pole barn with a small second story living space. Downstairs would be my studio, shop, garage work place. I like to design, build and create.

What do you like to do dday? What blows your skirt up? What floats your boat? What is your passion?

Well, come July or thereabouts, I will be out of my rental and then I can get my dog back! She is a 4 yr old german shorthair. Awesome dog, loyal, loving and fun. (Kinda like me, we are like dogs aren't we?)

The house planning. I want to have a walkout basement. My cousin has a dozer and an excavator, so there are the tools for that. It will be cheaper to build, and the earth is awesome insulation, so cheaper on climate control. The basement will be for the boys. A small utility room for water heater and furnace. A bathroom in the corner and the rest will be open until they get older and demand privacy. This way they can play football or race rc cars or whatever. Put a flatscreen on the wall for movies and games, and a fireplace to save a bit of cash on heating, and because they are relaxing to sit by.

Upstairs, I am thinking simple. Master bedroom. Eat in kitchen. Bathroom with doors to kitchen and master bedroom. Living room, with another fireplace or woodstove. Washer dryer closet.

Metal roof. Not sure if I will do log siding yet. Maybe like 24x32. 5-12 pitch, no dormers or anything to keep cost down and leaks to a minimum. Outdoor wood boiler would be awesome!

Pole barn after I rebuild the bank account. Barn will be much bigger than the house.


There you go mu. My new dream home, smaller, simpler, easy to maintain.

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I like woodworking and really want to restore my 55 chevy truck, and buy my grandpas tractor back from my cousins whenever I get a barn. Fishing, birdhunting, camping, sports of all kinds.

Sounds great dday. I would put up a house at a later date if there was a reason to. Pole barns go up quick and would allow me full access to my tools and equipment. I would be moving to the southwest from the northeast. So everything comes over at once.

Don't laugh but I love those earth bermed hobbit houses. I'd love to build one of those in the mountains maybe even a hobbit style workshop. Grow vegetables and build my house, thats the plan.

Oh yeah. Garden. I love raising my own food. I even can it. I am an extremely old 35 year old. Spent my summers with my grandparents, and pap was a retired farmer with like 5 acres of garden. It was crazy and he gave away most of it and canned enough for the winter. I am definately going to get back to that when I have my own spot again. It's a good hobby to teach the kids too. Being self sufficient, not like preppers, bit know enough that I will be fine anyway if I turn into a hermit. Lol