New Years usually make me kinda sad and I can't seem to shake that feeling even though I should be welcoming a fresh start with open arms. Maybe it's that it's the first NY in 16 years I will start as single.
I'm with you here Gmum. Really not looking forward to NY. First one spent without H in 19 years, first one where I don't with my H happy new year in 15 years, the list goes on and on. Added to the fact that it's not a night for celebrating. What is there to celebrate? The outlook for 2016 doesn't look to rosy - H will file for divorce, I may have to move out of the family home and my kids and I will continue to be devastated. Planning on going to bed very early and missing the whole thing.
My H gave me the divorce papers yesterday, stopped by on his way to the airport to go see OW. The way I see it things can't get much worse for us. We've already hit bottom, right. 2015 was an awful year. Already lost everything it seems. Now there's only stuff to gain.
Hey Anc, Merry Christmas, and excited to see the calendar turn. I think you're going to be in a good spot. The first few months after BD are hell. You've hit bottom and survived. It isn't easy, but after a few months of impossible, difficult can look pretty appealing. So proud of you, keep going and thanks for being on the boards!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Yes, so ready for this year to be over. I am hopeful that 2016 will bring good things to all of us. Here's to health, happiness, and prosperity 2016!!!
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
Now I'm back to wishing I'd been a better wife, so that he never had to get to this point. I don't blame myself for all of it, no, please don't think that. But I do take full ownership of my share of the problems. Hindsight is crystal clear and unforgiving. But it also provides me a pretty good map of what I need to work on.
Anc, nothing you could have done would have made any difference.
You can let go of this, in my opinion, this is outside of your control completely. You are responsible for you only. This is the differentiation of self from others, if you like you can Google it.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 12/28/1506:45 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Merry Christmas my friend! And it sounds like it was one. The thing about Christmas is that it comes shortly after the darkest day of the year. That winter solstice when there is more night than day. However, the hope comes from knowing that from that point forward the days are getting longer and the nights shorter.
New things are coming our way. Renewed relationships with our kids that aren't clouded by the expectations of someone who stopped caring about us. These are stronger relationships because we can now truly be ourselves. It is freeing to realize we aren't responsible for anyone else. Not their behavior, not their desires, not their expectations. We do what feels right to us, and as a result we are becoming the attractive people we were before we gave it up to try and be who we thought they wanted us to be.
That's why you don't need that letter. It isn't your responsibility. And that knowledge, my friend, is a gift.
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
