Every one of you is right. I do things and say things and it's because I am in pain and lashing out on him.
Yes I read DR and am trying to read it again but keep putting it down out of anger thinking why do I have to be the one to do all of this work when I am not the one who strayed when I am not the one who became so obsessed with someone else i risked and lost it all.
But from what you are all telling me, i too am obsessed. With him. Ow. Them and those mesaages.
You said not to believe any of what he says and only half of what he does. His actions? Positive and negative actions are:
He gave me extra money for the kids He took us out for my b day Has not asked to see the kids Feels he has peace now and tells me this Bought me flowers for b day Texts me in between blaming me to either say he wishes i would listen or tells me to have a nice day or evening
That's pretty much it as far as actions go
I just read through the boundaries link again and it sank in better this time.
No i have not GALed at all except for decorating..talking a walk and relaxing with the kids.
And I've done nothing to work on myself. I am surviving by holding on to my anger if Im being honest. Anger is so much easier to deal with than pain and hurt and heartache. At least for me.
I will do Pinks HW though (which will be difficult) and think about and list what things i need to change within myself.
Thank you for your words and help Claire.
Rain (moi): 40 Ex Fiance: 39 3 kids On/off again EA & PA Last BD by ow 12/15 Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
