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So its been a few days since I have been able to get on here. It was quite a whirlwind weekend and boy did The Three Faces of H, show up.

After much deliberation and soul searching, rereading DR, and making sure I was doing it for the right reasons (mine), I decided to go to the party with H. Figured I'd look smoking hot, be happy and social--all part of my 180's.

By Thu he was being aloof and distant. I make a hasty retreat to my bedroom.

Friday he was civil and we had some pleasant convo. By that evening, we were having great convo, and after some R talk, he said he loved me and he wasn't going anywhere!

Ok...now we are getting somewhere.

Sat nite at party and after, we are having a good time, being loving etc. Back at home, he goes back to "I am still struggling with staying. But that should be progress as 2 weeks ago I was definitely leaving." I agree with him.

Sun he was going to go to church with me, but a co worker called him and asked to meet up with him a few hours away. His kid is at a hockey tourney, Mike agrees. I am not suspicious at this juncture. Hes going to watch hockey and he'll be back by dinner. He is gone when I get home from church.

By 3, I get a text saying it was farther than he thought, he brought some clothes so he did not have to worry about driving back. Ok. NOW my alarms are screamimg!

My original plan for today was to just keep doing whats working. That seems to be: lots of compliments, happy attitude, upbeat, giving him space, not pursuing.

Now, I don't even know. My heart is sunk. It felt like we were making such progress

I cannot confirm or deny PA at this time, but he definitely lied about where he was. Debit card use an hour north of where he said he was going.

I feel like my Plan has seriously been derailed. How do I keep up the happy, upbeat, confident, fool-to-leave attitude in the face of this? And he had just told me all those things were working.

Now I feel like a fool.

When I kicked out H after I found out he went back to OW. He told me that in a year's time we could be back together & that he wants to be on his own to see what he wants to do and that being with OW is not an option. Now he is living with her! So don't believe what your husband says. Actions speak louder than words.

Thanks for the reply Rouky.

Herein lies my issue. His actions, esp Fri and Sat were definitely of the "reconciliation" type. At the very least, "lets work on the M."
Then he takes off for the night, and now I feel like we are back at Square One.
Which I guess is to be expected. I didn't expect this M to fix itself overnight.
Plus, now I have this looming lie, that could well be an A.

I did not confront him tonite with my knowledge. He lied and said he was at the hockey game. Did not detach as well as I wanted to tho.

Epic DB fail last night...too attached. In the face of his lie and possible A, I found it hard to be upbeat and positive.

I was on LRT plan and it seemed to be working. It WAS working, he told me it was. Now he has backpedaled, and he is fence sitting.

Why does this feel harder than him actually wanting to leave?

Also, can someone help me edit an already submitted post?

I just realized I name-dropped.

I reread that 3 times too!! Ugh

Hi Melweb,

Don't be so hard on yourself! Anytime you fall off the DB wagon, pick your smokin' hot self up, dust yourself off & hop right back on This wagon is certainly a roller coaster.

Do you still need help with editing a post? There is an edit tab at the bottom of each post. You should be able to take care of it. If not, call me and I can help.

Hang in there!
Cristy

Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004

Hi Melweb,

How are you hanging on? I wish you a Merry Christmas :-)

Hi Rouky. Thanks for checking in. Merry Christmas to you as well.

H has been home since early Tues, so I have had no time to be here. Which I guess is a good thing. As I said he is fence-sitting and Tues evening said he was still more than 50% leaving. (How does one come up with a percentage for that anyhow??)

Tonite he says he is more than 50 % staying. Plus he talked about some future dates that would include me. Seriously, this seems harder than when I knew he was actually leaving. Crazy, I know

I failed again. Dang!!

Ok. Tomorrow is a new day, and I can, and I will, brush my smoking-hot self off, and begin again. My 180s were working. I got this.