I just read the going dark thread and there is some really good stuff in there! Nothing I have done or seem to do is working so I think this is what has to be done. I was afraid of totally letting go and thought I was still in control when I wasn't in control of anything. I like the you have to let them go on their journey...good stuff!!!!
M 39 XW 35 T 11 M 7.5 No Kids BD 8/15 Served 9/15 D 12/15
I don't know where I'm going, but I sure know where I've been-- David Coverdale
Nate, sorry you have to be here but this is the right place to be. It seems you already started to recognize some of the issues you had that led up to your M breaking down, it will be good to look deeper at those to resolve them.
I would make it a priority to find the money to get the book. I know it might be tight but the book isn't that expensive and without reading and understanding the techniques you wont know how to apply anything you read on the site. Each persons sitch is different and what works for one wont work for another. I'd point out going dark is likely a mistake for someone who pulled back in their M and was emotionally unavailable. Its just more of the same dynamics that led to the breakdown.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Hello Frogg! Thanks for the advice...would you recommend the DB the DR book for my sitch? I am just trying to give her some space for right now because on top of me doing all the wrong things during the separation we were in contact quite a bit with me moving out and all the legal stuff. I basically don't know what to do anymore!
M 39 XW 35 T 11 M 7.5 No Kids BD 8/15 Served 9/15 D 12/15
I don't know where I'm going, but I sure know where I've been-- David Coverdale
Divorce Remedy is the newer updated version of Divorce Busters. Please get it right away. I promise, it will help you so much with your situation. Just stay still for a bit while you're waiting on it. If she reaches out to you in any way, by all means, respond! But let her come to you until you get a handle on what you need to do.
If you have any interactions with her, these are the 3 words that I think help describe the best attitude to have: Calm, Strong, and Friendly. You want to be upbeat and positive. No relationship talk for now.
Hi Ancaire, thanks for the tips. I have already been working towards being those 3 words and I feel I'm in a pretty good place. I am checking out the store now.
M 39 XW 35 T 11 M 7.5 No Kids BD 8/15 Served 9/15 D 12/15
I don't know where I'm going, but I sure know where I've been-- David Coverdale
