Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers spoke to OW..the 1 he said he has no contact with

I did as you suggested. His reply was to never contact him again.

That is his choice. I won't contact again. I told him he can pick them up whenever he wanted. I can do no more.

He sounds tempermental, let's his emotions do the talking. Is that correct?

Yes. We both are which is not good. He is reeling from this last fall out. He is somehow taking it out on me that his lies came to light.

The ow is bombarding me with more proof of it all. He is calling and texting me cursing me out..saying she is a liar and telling me he deserves better than my BS. He means my being upset and having the audacity to call him out on all of this

I have to shut my phone off for a while or i am going to lose my mind. Thanks for yr advice earlier. Ill be back on later tonighy. Have a great night.

Are you still communicating with him about anything other than necessary info about the kids?

Yes. We have been together until the blow out a couple of days ago. Its so fresh that i have responded to some of his ridiculous accusations and our exchanges haven't been pretty. After the last one though i stopped responding except for when i told him that the sending of pictures wouldnt be happening and that he is free to pick up the kids anytime he would like.

I am just devastated. I am broken right now and he doesn't care. He is mourning the loss of his "soulmate" who is home with her husband and all the while im trying to take care of the kids and not freak them out by bursting into to tears every few minutes.

After this I just don't see any hope anymore.

Hello Rain75,

I am very sorry you find yourself here because I know you are in pain and suffering a lot at this moment in time.

But I am also glad you found this forum because you will find some peace of mind, some direction to take you out of this insanity you are in right now.

First, I understand you have only 1 child? Make sure you keep yourself in control so there is no danger whatsoever to your little one. Second, choose a good friend that will have the patience to listen to your right now.

You need to develop some kind of support group for yourself, if that is possible.

It is also important that you realize that going crazy won't solve anything and much less attract your H back into the M.

I do not get why this OW, that is married, is sending you pics as proof of your H infidelity. This is dirty and is not doing you any good.

Protect yourself, block this OW, she is a waste of air. For sure you do not have any control on her actions, but you need to protect yourself from this kind of garbage.

About your H, let him be for awhile. Stop the phone calls, texting, pics from the kids. Yes, I know, at some point you want to do this because it will keep you closer to him, even if it is always a hell, but right now you are managing everything from fear and that is not good.

Stop yourself, breath and then you will start seeing things a little more clear.

Please, please, do not get involved in all of this. You H also needs some space to think and sort things out. Give some time and keep posting. Use the board to let go on the bad feelings, it will help. Why do I know?

My story started july 2014, I did a lot of bad stuff, made a trillion mistakes, and finally got to the point that I decided to follow the steps on the book, the advices of so many people here. And I feel much better now.

Be strong, it will pass, and you will survive.

Pink

Whether there is hope for continuing in M with your H or not, there is hope for you and the kids. Never forget that. It's true no matter how you feel at any given time. The future is unwritten.

So what are 2 or 3 things you can start doing by yourself that makes life better for you?

Pink,

Thank you for your kind words. We have 3 children. The youngest are 2 years old.

I want to take time away from this situation. And logically yes, I know that I can not control his feelings and thoughts however it doesn't help me in my pain. It kills me that he is home missing her and so broken up about losing her and not giving a rats a@$ that he shattered me and that im alone trying to cope with our kids.

I did stop all contact earlier today and will not contact him again. It just hurts too much. Now having seen it with my own eyes it hurts to know that while she is mad at him (even though she is married) for lying and saying we werent together. He is desperately trying to "win her back".

And i am mad and sad and his only responses have been anger and nastiness and telling me he is glad i know now.

Its like if im living in the flippin twilight zone!

I have 1 friend i told about this since she is the most likely to listen n not judge me for still loving him.

Im a latina and every one of my friends and family would advise the same thing even without speaking to one another or hearing the whole story. Its the way of our people plus i told some of them when it happened the 1st time and that was all i got.

Kick his a#% to the curb and quick! Hit than gym and start dating asap.

Sadly (for me but great for her:) the 1 friend i can talk to just started working at a hospital and so our talks are sparadic.


As for ow. She seems hurt that he lied to her (which has been easy since we live apart) and told her we weren't together. And now she feels betrayed and wanted to prove to me that he was denying our family daily and even though she isn't very affectionate, that he is. Also told me of the times theyve met up.

So strange to see their exchanges. If he talked to me like that id be in heaven. She feeds into his ego a lot. And i mean A LOT where i call him out on his s#!t.

And i should block her. But i havent since sadly he will never tell me the truth. At least this way i have found things out finally. As hurt as I am it is nice to know im not in the dark anymore and his secret fantasy isn't so secret any longer.

[censored] that i have to let him be while he is desperately trying to save his relationship with her.

Anyway..again. Thanks and i will try to limit my venting to the form and not him.

He cant hear me anyway through his obsession.

Ps. I read part of your story last week when I was still lurking. Im so sorry. I will read the rest soon. Thanks