Woke up this morning and realized it's 'signing day'.
Still a bit hard to believe at times. Still don't want this. But I'm above ground, and vertical, and have moved forward to the point where I'm able to accept what's happening with some strength and clarity, even dignity, and am not a mess inside or out, so for that I am thankful. Feel bad at times, but it no longer drives my mental or emotional state, much less my decisions.
A lot of the difficulty has been the suddenness of her decision. She left a little over 2 months ago with no real warning and no real discussion, no real attempt (that I can recall) to work on the M, no nothing really. Can't remember the last time she genuinely communicated with me in a way I thought was open and honest. Of course, I bear plenty of responsibility for the state of our marriage, and there are at least two sides to every story, but I know I worked like hell to improve things and be available to her, particularly in the last few years, and that however imperfectly I was committed to her and loved her. Still, she walked out the door after 20 years of M and hasn't seemed to ever really look back...not so I could see anyway.
So for those of you whose spouses are still on the fence, still talking to you in some way, I'm glad for you and wish you the best in your efforts to improve and preserve that which is so important to you...to all of us. I know you will make the most of it by following the principles here. And if you do find yourself in my shoes one day, you will be ok.
So I will sign the papers this afternoon after work. Have dinner with my son. Get a good night's sleep. Get up tomorrow and be here when my W and the movers arrive. Then I will continue moving on with my life.
So, so sorry things turned this way. Be proud of yourself today, walk tall with your head held high. We are still here for you and hope you stay with us, however, if it helps you to move on without coming here, it's understandable.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Last edited by Cadet; 12/16/1504:27 PM. Reason: Link
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
