Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers New thread - My WW

yes, tell people to ask her.

I know you really want her around I get it. I did all of those things trying to act like everything was ok and hope we work it out. I did it all out of fear and prob set things back. IN the end she still had her mind made up.

You cant live with the fear of what might happen. that is what is holding all of us back.

So i guess i should just start answering honestly of people ask me why she didnt come to something.

Im so close to just giving up and losing all hope. From messages a read between W and OM they are talking about how thier R is so hard right now they have to sneak around and how things will be ao much better in their future and that they will look back on this and laugh or some sh*t like that. So disrespectful. Ugh!

Hope should never be given up. You need to turn your focus on yourself though. I still hope for the best but I am not sitting around waiting for it to appear.

Thanks i just feel like f*cked things up worse then they were before at this point. Before W was yelling her freind she was leaning towards staying with me now shes telling freind she's leaning towards leaving me for OM. I know this cause i was spying before which yes i know this is no good for me and im trying my best to stop.

Hi StrongJ, sorry things are rough.

You know she is involved with OM and that's continuing, so I would let go of the snooping for now - it's just self-torture.

I would also let her know if she wants to come and go at all hours with OM (do you know she lied about that last night?) then she can go sleep in the spare room.

Don't be afraid of her leaving you....she is already gone for now my friend..

I do no forsure she met him last night. She was out with freind and wanted to meet OM he was saying he couldnt meet long and she seemed to get mad at him then he cracked and said he was going to meet and her asked where she was. She then proceeded to arrive home at what she said was 2am but i didnt see her in bed until 5am so who knows. I will uses all my strengh to try and stop the spying. And i will try to lay that boundary out however i already told her i can be in and open M where my w focuses OM and carries on in apropriate relationships and if she continues on the path shes on i will be unable to remain married to her. Should i not be acting on that or would telling her to sleep in the spare room be first step towards acting on that boundary?

On a more positive front I'm trying to look for a fun activity S1 and I can do in evenings after im off work was thinking swimming lessons may be fun.

So if she does not honor your boundary about an open M, the consequence is separate bedrooms?

Supposed to be can remain married to her. But i need to see a lawyer and all that to finalize that just wondering if i should do or say something else in the mean time.