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Just a quick update that I found a little funny.

So the night before thanksgiving is considered to be the busiest night of the year for bars and restaurants as no one typically works the next day. One of my places needed a Dj for the evening and i used to do this regularly so i stepped in. Well i guess the staff enjoyed it over the regular people they use.

I get to the same location for a meeting yesterday. This is the same one that I got one of W's best friends a job at months ago. W friend comes up to me and says she needs to talk to me. I was really unsure what we were talking about, either personal or what as she really does not report to me directly.
She begins to tell me they are changing one of the theme nights in the bar to a ladies night and they really want me to dj those nights! I laughed for a second and then told her sure.

Just found it funny that my W best friend who knows about everything that has and is going on with us wants me to work a Ladies night for her.

Should be a good one to get back to W!

Hey OTW,

I can see you are steady as it goes, good work on keeping your head up.

I have a question about your living arrangement, do you both live close by each other and do the kids go to the same school as before?

she moved about 3-4 miles up the road. I chose to sty in the house for them and the schools. She wanted to be close by as well. I am not sure how she is going to keep pulling off with the expense of living here though. I am sure she is burning savings. I think when money starts drying up this will be another wake up call for her as i know she is not working anymore than she did. Even with the money i am giving it just cant work.

otw- are you giving her money because you have to?

G, I am giving her money from the separation agreement. If it were up to me i would pay for some kids stuff and she would not get a penny from me. She doesnt need me or want to be with me but she needs my money though!

She is more than capable of working but hasnt taken on anything more than what she always did. She said well who will take care of the kids? Well i still do everything i always did and on my days dont ask for any help with the kids.

So been busy the past few days. Bunch of stuff with the kids and my own stuff. Been feeling pretty good but then something the past day or two had me feeling really low and wishing our family was together again.
I think it had to do with Sunday we all went to a Disney show together. We had bought tickets for this months ago. I look back and should have just had my mother come with me and the kids instead of reminding W about it. We had a great time and no issues. I think this spun me for a day or two. I also had a few xmas parties and was getting some good attention from the females. Even though it was really nice at the time the next days I was just missing W.

Then today the real part happened. Picked up D7 for dentist and she tells me she had to tell W to get off the phone last night while she was trying to sleep. She said she was face timing a boy. Not sure what to think about it as she was telling me while on the phone at first with W there and she wasn't stopping her. Then D7 said well it could have been a girl but I think she said this because I prob got quiet as I was thinking.
I just wish W would not be doing these things in front of the kids. I have to admit it really has me spinning today. I want to say something to her but I know I can't.

I guess I need to get back to very limited contact.

I'm so sorry OTW.

I'm starting to see the light, as it appears this pattern continues to happen to many. The best advice I can give you is to try not to obsess over what might be and just focus on you.

I think the worst is that I had gotten past the most pain. I knew that if the day came I found about another man that I would be really hurt. I am still not sure what the while situation is or if it is anything but how it all sounds I think I know.

This pain is just as bad as the beginning.

Yes it is. I can attest to that.

Distance yourself from her. Keep your pride and integrity. Let her do her things. Finding clarity (although you may want it) will not provide any help. Assume the worst. Deal with it yourself keep things moving forward.

Spoke to D7 a little more about all of this and she started making things up about it. She said she spoke to W about it this morning and she said it was a friend and she still loved me.

I looked at her and could tell she was fibbing. I eventually told her she shouldnt make things up and asked if she even spoke to W about it. She said no. She then said it may have been a girl. I said are you saying this becuase you were hoping it was me she was talking to and you dont want it to be another boy. She said yes. i could tell she was upset. I tried to console her, but dont really know what to say.

I dont know if I tell W about this or not. I know there is something in me that wants to, but I know for the dynamic between her and i i shouldnt, but what about for D7?