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So My W went to meet a freind at the mall to do some shopping. Mall closed 45 minutes ago and shes not home. I was planning on going to the gym for a work out when she gets home but doesnt look like i will get much of a workout since the gym closes in an hr and shes not even home yet. Pretty damn frustrating.

Going on 2 hours after mall closed not going to ask where she was or anything but i feel the need to set a boundary here. Just not sure how to do that. I was thinking something like:

I feel disrespected when you come home 2 hours later then expected without any discussion or warning this is not acceptable and I will no longer be waiting around for you in such a scenario in the future.

Hows that sound? Also at what point should i text asking if shes ok? Never?

Did she know you were waiting for her? If it wasn't clear what you expected then you really can't get upset.

It was clear we had a discussion that i was going to go to the gym after she got home from the mall. The mall closes at 9:00 and gym closes at 11:30. She goes to the same gym and knows when it closes. I didnt say i need to be home by 9:30 so i can go to the gym. I cannot leave s1 home alone while i go to the gym. Id say it was pretty clear my intentions and what i needed from her.

What does the stuff in blue mean, exactly?

So i did tell her how i felt after she got home at 3.5 hrs after mall. Basically said same thing i said i would above. I didnt text her just waited on couch watching the football game until she got home. I dozed off cause she was quite late. She said she was sorry and they she wouldnt do it again. Then she started trying to talk about the R again saying she didnt think it was working and that she didnt think i care. I basically told her i do care and tried to avoid any further discusson. She asked me if i wanted to know why she was so late i just said no. And then she voluntered that she wasnt with her girl freind she went to the mall with i was just like ok and tried to change the subject. As i continued watching football she tried to come over and cuddle so i told her i was tired and was going to bed. Then this morning she was off seemed depressed and i kept catching her just stairing at me as i was getting myself and S1 ready for the day. Cant help but feel im getting ahead of myself again as i have not recieved my DR book yet and i am only halfway through NMMNG. Let me know your thoughts how am i doing?

Sorry i guess its not clear and my wife didnt think it was clear. I clearified i just mean i will head to bed not waiting up or if it was in the day time i will move on with the day head of with S1 to do whatever we planned on doing for the day.

It's a lot stronger to say that you arent interested in cuddling with her than to put it off like it's a timing issue, I think.

Next time, just GO to bed. Theres no need to pussyfoot around this "next time" stuff, I think. She came home, talked to you, and then you acted put out and tired and went to bed anyway.

But in general, yes, I think this is OK to say.

Trying to set boundaries i have read about them on Boudary setting tread cadet posted and in the NMMNG book. The idea of me telling her i wont wait around and move along with they day was an attempt to set consequences to crossing the boundary. Maybe i have failed miserably at setting boudary ive never realy done this well before in my live.