Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers In the UK - need help (pt15)

That's harsh. She's still technically married to you. I see what you mean about burning bridges.

I think it's a legal thing. I don't really care TBH. It's just BAU.

Final checks all done. Moving in date 2 December. Moving ahead, not moving on.....yet!

Good for you Huddy. I moved into my flat similar time last year....thinking back over your sitch, I do think you have come a long way in recent months. I remember many posts that were all about your W and watching for signs etc. That's different now and I'm pleased for you. I know these aren't the circumstances you hoped for - but you are willing to deal and that's key. I think the man you are and the man you become through this difficult experience are the most important things.

I truly wish you well with your move. Yes, you are dropping the rope and you can do so with compassion, accepting that you just need to get your own arrangements in place now. And, as for all of us....who knows what the future holds??

Take care xx

Hi Sotto

Yes, you're right. I spent a lot of time waiting for W to react to Huddy 2.0 and I just didn't see anything, as she is that far down her MLC tube.

Thanks for your wishes. I'll be here for W if she wants to come back, but, it'll be on my terms and she'll have to do some work on her attitude.

Homemade pasta bake fresh out of the oven when I walked through the door tonight. Unusually pleasant as well. Guess it's time for the manipulation to start in earnest!

Don't get me wrong, it was lovely and I thanked her for all her efforts, but, in the past, I would have taken that as a sign that she was on her way back. Now, I just take it for what it is, a nice meal that I haven't had to cook after a long day at work.

That, I think is now the biggest difference, in me, that I can see. I'm not needy or pursuing, I'm forging ahead, taking control of the actions that effect me. It's been a long road, so far, and I expect it to get hillier before the end, but, I'm feeling so much stronger that a few months ago.

That is so inspiring Huddy, I'm praying that I'll reach the same stage that you are at in the near future.

Way to go, Huddy! You are so inspiring. We are right at the same spot in our sitches, it is amazing what 6 months will do.

Haven't posted for a couple of days - not a lot to say really.

When I got home today, W had been doing some packing. She had found some pictures my Mum gave me when I graduated from University over 23 years ago. They are paintings of my home city, but W never like them, so they have stayed under the bed for over 16 years. She told me that she had put them in our S's room. They were dumped on the floor. I guess this was a pull to see if I'd react, but I haven't. It is difficult though. Our wedding photos are one of the few where I actually have any of my Mum and they haven't been on display since May.

I looked in the fridge and we needed milk. In the past, I would have gone out and got it. I mentioned it to W and she immediately got in the car to get some. Never seen that before.

If you're in the UK, there is a programme on ITV called 'Doc Martin'. We both enjoy it and last night was the finale. If you're not in the UK, you can probably find it on YouTube. In this series the main couple have split up and the whole eight weeks has been about them trying to re-ignite their relationship. It's a drama comedy, so it mixes comedy with more human drama. Cutting to the chase, the couple get back together, right at the end. Amazingly, just as the ending was coming up where the female lead says 'I've made a terrible mistake, I love you', my W gets up and marches my D to bed. She's sat through 57 minutes of TV show and then at the finale, just gets up! I think that's guilt, right there.

Otherwise, in good spirits, awaiting the move!

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